If you were my valentine, ah treat ye awfy guid
ah wouldny send you for the coal or to collect the wid
Ah’d wine ye and dine ye .. n gee ye a surprise or two
And Ah widny call ye any worse than a stupid coo
Ah’d treat ye like a princess and no let ye sleep on lumps
Ah might even let you cop a feel o my lady humps
Bit yer not my valentine … and sad as that makes me
It least Ive no got to shave my ligs for any burd to see!