It has been a funny couple of years for me … and not in a ha ha way ..
I suddenly found myself single after my partner, who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, suddenly announced she wanted “time on her own” to know what she wanted from life”. Fair enough …. it hurt but I did understand.
However, it turns out this was not the reason. She had met someone else and even though she denied anything happened before we split… she know that I know she is lying. Looking back with a clear mind now, there were so many lies …and even more when we split up … she had to make me feel bad for her actions that she could not take responsibility for.
Some of the lies she told me are laughable now … but at the time really crushed me… all because she would not face up to who she was.. it was easier for her conscience to destroy me.
There was so much more else on top of this, a breast cancer scare, being ripped off when I bought a motorhome and losing so much money to meeting someone who was a drunk (and failed to tell me she already had a girlfriend) and then meeting another woman who was mentally unstable and threatening.
I decided to give up … I am someone who is happy in their own company and don’t “need” anyone to complete me. I have a job I love and (at the time) one wee dog that is wonderful (even if she does make me shout at times!).
Then out of the blue I met Ros … it was the night I decided to give up and take myself off dating sites … it was her first night on a dating site …. coincidentally we only lived around 5 miles from each other … so, when I had a “like” I decided to say hello (mainly to invite her to the woman’s group that run locally).
We spoke openly and honestly about our past relationships and how they had made us feel … we also spoke about our physical capabilities… we both have issues with them … but we decided together that perhaps we would work …
Turns out we have … this weekend, 18 months down the line, Ros is moving in … the house in chaos as we try to fit 2 homes into one … and there have been a few “discussions” about what we keep and what we don’t …
We get each other, we understand each other and slowly the hurt has faded away …
I no longer have to get up at a silly hour to do my work in order to spend time with someone. I no longer have to worry about the fact that I was going to end up with someone who drinks too much and who thought I was weird for not wanting a booze stained breath in my face and I no longer have to worry about being blamed for someone else’s lack of morals.
A new start … a new life … here is to us!
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 