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Love ...

Beastie in your baggage!

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Brae. A gay woman's tale!

All of us carry emotional baggage.   It is only natural that we do.  I often read that people want someone with “no baggage” when describing the type of partner they want.

Personally I would run from anyone who ever said to me that they had “no baggage” .. they either do not have the depth of emotional maturity that I want or that they have simply never been able to open up, take a risk and give their heart.

Our past and our “baggage” make us who we are, we should learn from our past, from our hurt and sometimes we need  time to wallow in it to fully understand how to move on properly from it.     We cannot rely on someone else to do this for us, it is personal, it is yours, you need to take responsibility for it.

You see people jump from one…

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Trust and honesty

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If I trust you, I will love you

as a friend, as a lover

it matters 

 

 

The Richness of Life

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Over the last two years my life and my circumstances have changed beyond recognition.

The depression brought on by stress was a very tough time, but in hindsight it made me stop and look at my life and what really made me happy rather than what I thought would make me happy.

I know I am a woman of two halves.   I love my friends and socialising and yet I love time on my own, in my peace.

Lately my circumstances have curtailed the times I can spend socialising.    I have had to plan what i can do, I have had to hold my hands up and say “sorry, I can’t make it” … sometimes I have lied and used various excuses rather than admit the real reason .. but the more I think about it .. it is the embarrassment of not having money that makes me do this and the question I then ask is .. why?  …. I have no idea .. so … I have decided to be honest and say please excuse me if you think I am being unsociable, but I have to pull the belt in for a few months.

The strange thing about having no money is the peace I have found…. maybe it is a mixture of now embarking on something that I want to do rather than I have to do … maybe it is because I realise that I do not need a lot of money to be happy, I have peace in my mind once again.  I am happy.     

No amount of money can buy that.

The Choices we made.

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The comfort of words

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I do not know all the answers because I avoid some of the questions.

I have given the comfort of words when all I needed was for someone to hear me.

As the lightening lit the sky I sat in the dark and questioned  why I could not be who I know I can be.

There is little I can give.   Apart from surrounding you with the comfort of words.

 

 

 

Russian Dolls

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When all is said and done .. are you happy with what is underneath?

“Beneath Your Beautiful”

(feat. Emeli Sandé)

You tell all the boys “No”
Makes you feel good, yeah.
I know you’re out of my league
But that won’t scare me away, oh, no

You’ve carried on so long,
You couldn’t stop if you tried it.
You’ve built your wall so high
That no one could climb it,
But I’m gonna try.

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?
Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl
I wanna see inside
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

You let all the girls go
Makes you feel good, don’t it?
Behind your Broadway show
I heard a boy say, “Please, don’t hurt me”

You’ve carried on so long
You couldn’t stop if you tried it.
You’ve built your wall so high
That no one could climb it.
But I’m gonna try

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?
Take it off now, boy, take it off now, boy
I wanna see inside
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, tonight?

See beneath, see beneath,
I…
Tonight
I…

I’m gonna climb on top your ivory tower
I’ll hold your hand and then we’ll jump right out
We’ll be falling, falling but that’s OK
‘Cause I’ll be right here
I just wanna know

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?
Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl (take it off now, boy,take it off now, boy)
‘Cause I wanna see inside
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, oh, oh, tonight?
See beneath your beautiful, oh, tonight.
We ain’t perfect, we ain’t perfect, no.
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

 

 

Spark

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A wonderful poem by a friend of mine .. I am in awe of her talent …

The Ladies of the WRAC

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Oh! you ladies of the WRAC

What have you managed to do to me

I have no voice, my nose is snotty

I can’t control what is coming out my botty ….

But as I sit and think about the weekend past

My face begins to smile and I start to laugh

The jokes, the songs and hugs at parting

Not to mention the unlady like farting ….

It took us back, it made us smile

and made the hangovers so worthwhile!

So until Fort William or next years DC

Here is a hug and smile from me!

 

 

 

Jumping backwards

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I was watching TV today and came upon an advert featuring Dick Fosbury (of Fosbury Flop fame).

It got me thinking.

I have achieved much in my life.   I have also lost much.

Through it all I have learned lessons, broken hearts, had my heart broken and grown as a person.

What was important to me when I was younger has changed from being rich and successful to being happy and peaceful.

I no longer want the dream.  I want the truth.   I want a relationship where a partner doesn’t just say things .. but actually does mean them.   Someone who knows how to love, how to appreciate me for all my  good points and my bad points. Someone who knows the difference between being alone and being lonely.

.. and most importantly someone who understands what being in a relationship and being a partner is all about.. someone who can appreciate that I becomes we.

The simple things .. the open and honest things.  The right things.

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