I am off to Glasgow later today for a couple of nights. I have to go because I am on a course for my Celebrancy training but I really dislike Glasgow.. well, dislike is not the right word .. more “fear”…
I used to love Glasgow .. I loved the vibrancy of the clubs, the stonework of the tenements, the history and the humour of the people. I suppose I still do but I do have an underlying fear of Glasgow.
I have visited Glasgow a handful of times mostly during the day but I have only been “out” in Glasgow a couple of times over the last 15 years because of one incident that took place when I was out with my pal Jen clubbing one night.
We had stopped off for a couple of drinks (and I mean two) in a pub before hitting the clubs. It was not long after we arrived in the first club that I had my drink spiked.
Thankfully due to Jen’s diligence nothing bad happened, apart from me having my money stolen.
Jen did manage to get me back to the hotel (ironically the same hotel I am staying in tonight and tomorrow!) … and get me into my bed. She sat over me until I suddenly “came round” … clear as a bell with no memory of the club or getting back to the hotel.
Jen said she realised there was something wrong when she said to me in the taxi back “do you want some chips” and I said “No” (the people who know me in real life will realise how much of an impossibility this seems!)
I have never been this “out of control” before and never want to be again. I was lucky that Jen noticed something was wrong (although I do think that what happened to me stopped her from pulling that night!! she probably hasn’t forgiven me for that!!).
I know it’s silly.. I know my brain tells me not to be stupid .. but it is a fear, a genuine fear that I have .. like some people are scared of spiders or mice … for me it’s Glasgow …
Today I will take a deep breath and face my fear (although I will not be visiting any pubs or clubs!) .. I think taking the first step to finding my confidence again with Glasgow is something I need to do and in a way I want to do… I am fed up making excuses for not going out with my friends all because I am a big fat coward!
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 