Emotionally drained

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I’ve lost myself at the moment, I am not sure where I am when it comes to “feeling”.  

Don’t get me wrong, Im not depressed, I’m quite happy in my little life, it isn’t that, it’s just .. I can’t seem to “feel” anything.

I have, way back in the dustbin of my mind, a memory that does pop up from time to time to remind me of how I can feel and I think in all honesty, I want to feel again.

It’s been a long time since I really “wanted” someone .. and even longer since someone really “wanted” me in the same sort of way as I mean.  

I remember the hours of love making, when it was impossible not to want to touch my lover, I remember the feeling in my stomach as it flipped when she smiled. I remember how my heart was just full of laughter and my mind full of surprises, wanting to see a smile on my lovers face. I remember the heat, the feeling that the real world was a million miles away.  I remember when just by holding her hand I felt myself invincible. I remember all this.   

I am not sure I can feel this now, I just have this overall feeling of disappointment and feeling very, very old.

Perhaps this will change, or maybe I am just worn out … time will tell I suppose.

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I am a bit fed up with this cold weather. 

I know I have a wee bit of a dodgy left leg but all this cold is making it very painful at the moment and I am finding it very hard to get comfy at night.  Last night I was “sent” to the spare room because of my tossing and turning.  Not only that but for some reason the cold seems to be affecting my left arm and hand too .. I must have a weaker left side.  I have a constant feeling in my arm and hand that feels like the blood is rushing back in .. bloody annoying and I’m feeling a bit of an old git!

I am definitely a woman of two halves at the moment .. bad dodgy left side and perfect happy right side! … I wish it would warm up .. I’m sure it would make moving around much easier!

I am a bit taken aback by how much I am feeling the cold this year .. I was the type of person who NEVER wore a coat!  Now I don’t want to take it off .. I think I have lost the race with old age .. it has caught me and is enjoying running riot with my body!

I may have to invest in a thermal long sleeved vest and some thermal long johns! .. I don’t care if they are old fashioned and a bit stupid .. as long as they help me I may just do it!

Look out for sexy pictures on my blog   Haaaaaa!

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