I am going to miss you ….

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Well … the last day of 2014 … and as the bells go tonight I will wave a sorry goodbye to this year.

For me it has been a lovely wee year, I have loved watching my wee business grow, and although at times there is still a quiet week, there are other weeks when I am very busy .. so I can’t complain about that!

I have had a little bit of back biting from some people … but, although it angered me, in the end I realised that it would make no difference what I done, that would continue.  The problem lies with them and their own little jealousy’s and pettiness.  So be it … I can’t change that .. and to be honest, I have better things to do than worry too much about them.  I shall just do my thing and let them fester.

My personal life has been curtailed a bit … although I have been busier, being a single woman, living on my own, my main priority has been to pay my bills .. and unexpectedly having to get a new car this this (my old one died a slow lingering death, but I loved it!) … however.. I love my new wee hippo (and it does look like a hippo!) … and I hope we have many years of me cursing at other drivers together!

My love life …. well … nothing to be said there …. I have not been able to afford to date anyone… although … I have “met” someone very special to me .. but sadly my offers of visiting with a stethoscope and baby oil have been turned down .. and I do have to accept that we will be fabulous friends but nothing more.

My pets are fine .. no expensive vets visits all year .. which makes a lovely change .. Brae is getting to be an old lady now .. 11 years old and gets cuter every year, she really is a wee darling of a dog and enjoys her “shared” ownership with my mum … as when I go to visit families or to take funerals/weddings then she goes to stay with my mum … who then stuffs her full of steak and chicken and other such like… my mum has even bought her a really big posh dog bed!    I sometimes think that Brae would prefer to stay there!

Bo and Jilly still hate each other … but they both go looking for each other … I think really they love each other .. one of those “love you but hate you” relationships.    Bo still cuddles me .. and after owning Jilly for around a year and a half she does come to me now … I think she has accepted I am her food slave … and perhaps so have I!

My family are all very well .. my Mum is still an auld bugger, who makes me laugh and, sometimes, grind my teeth, but I wouldn’t have her any other way… we had a lovely family holiday in Portsoy earlier this year, catching up with relatives from up north that we hadn’t seen for a while.. and I really enjoyed it.

WRAC Fort William was a blast .. my lovely, lovely friend Abby came along with her son .. and we had a hoot .. for someone who is not an ex army girly, Abby fitted right in! … so much so that she has already demanded she comes to FW2016! … we are not having a FW reunion in 2015 due to the grand reunion which will be held in Harrogate in March … which sadly I am not able to afford to go to .. but I am off for 5 days to Benidorm with a group of other ex army girls in May … that will be a hoot and a half! … and sun … ohhhhhh I have missed not having any sun this year … although my holiday to Egypt in December 2013 with my fabulous friend Sharon was great fun … just what the doctor ordered … and we even survived the “Vatered down Wodka” … and Sharon’s dance of the 7 veils!

I have also started Slimming World … and doing very well (apart from a wee slip up over Christmas!) … I am aiming to lose 4 stone .. mainly to help my back that has been a bit of a bugger at times … even just losing nearly a stone seems to have helped it .. so I am hoping in the next few months I may stop moaning about the bliddy thing!

I have found a lot of peace in solitude this year …partly forced on me because of lack of funds to go socialising .. but partly by choice too … I like being alone .. I also like seeing my friends … but I am very comfortable and enjoy the peace I find when I come in, close my door and find the peace that allows me to think …

It has been lovely to see so many of my close friends find happiness this year … Meg and Sharon being just two .. and I hope that the many others who have found new relationships and even in the case of Sue and Dawn had a wedding that 2015 brings them much more happiness.

On the flip side I have watched some friends tear each other apart.  It has not been pretty and has been sad to watch.   I hope that all of them find peace and perhaps some reconciliation in the year to come.

I have also seen my friend Barbara Anne lose both her parents within a few months of each other.   I was honoured to be asked to take both their funerals and both were hard for me … I knew her parents, and they were both very lovely people.  I know BA has not yet found her peace or acceptance of this … and I hope in 2015 she does.

2013 was a tough year for me .. and I made no secret about it on my blog.   2014 has been much more gentle .. and I have a feeling that 2015 is going to be great …  I am not making any “resolutions” … I am already on track doing what I want to change .. but I am going to socialise a little more … and you never know .. maybe some idiot will be stupid enough to fall for my stethoscope and baby oil line … although to be fair … I can’t be arsed with finding anything casual now .. my life is lovely as it is and I certainly won’t complain if it stays like this.

Happy New Year everyone … and remember, the only thing that stops you getting what you want, is you!

2014-12-29 20.37.29

Me and my friend Barbara Anne .. our friendship goes back 40 years .. she winges to me about men .. and I winge to her about women!

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Let it go …

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Christmas, perhaps the most poignant day of the year, can be a day when many people reflect on what was,  what if or what is.

“What was” is a destructive thought … it destroys your happiness and your peace.

“What if” can be a glimmer of hope, a throb of excitement .. a pipe dream, not yet achieved, and not yet a reality.

“What is” is now.. what you love.. what you have.

Today, I hope you find the greatest gift of all .. peace … to achieve this you have to appreciate what is .. the courage to go after your dreams .. and the realisation that what was, is just that .. your past… that you cannot allow to destroy your future.

Today as you raise a glass, toast yourself, to who you are .. to what you want from life .. the important things, not the material things … and I hope that you find what you really want.

Have a great Christmas … have a great life x

Her words ..

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Peace and quiet

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Some crave money, some crave love.calm

I crave peace and quiet.

Don’t get me wrong .. I love meeting up with friends and having a drink and a good old laugh (usually very loudly!) but .. where I am at my happiest is when I am at home.

Tonight it is cold outside, I have a loud, crackling fire burning away .. Jilly, one of my cats, on the sofa and Brae, my dog, on the chair.   So far all is peaceful and quiet .. although Bo is outside .. no doubt hunting .. here’s hoping she doesn’t a live mouse in!

Wherever you are tonight, whatever your pain.  I wish you the peace and calm that I have tonight.

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