That is love.

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ImageA friend of mine posted something on Facebook today …   part of it is posted below:

“I fall in “LIKE” easily…. But it’s very hard for me to fall in “LOVE”…. Let me explain.

In the beginning people show you the best side of them, the side they know you’ll like… They always seem almost perfect and you can’t believe your luck. You can’t believe someone who’s almost perfect and single is giving you an opportunity…. and that’s why I fell in “LIKE” really easily…. Because I liked what they were showing me in the beginning. I started thinking this person’s great, amazing, almost perfect and I can see a future….. 
Here’s where it changed…. They’ll do something, say something or start to change their character in a way where you’re like “hold on this isn’t the person I liked”…. 
Too many people are “temporary” or “throw away” because they’re fake or can’t be truly themselves in the beginning. And that’s why I find it hard to fall in “LOVE”.
I just wanted someone who’s consistently the same. No switching and changing on me.”

This rung a chord with me … 

People will say what they think you want to hear in order to get what they want.   I have fallen for some wonderful old lines “Im not like that” “let me show you what it feels to be loved” .. and in the end they have been just words.   

I do not think I am a particularly complex person .. simple things make me happy … I like peace, I like to laugh, I like to feel secure and wanted.

I cannot stand being constantly let down, disappointed, not listened to or feel like I am being used…. or in one case, like a secret that was too embarrassing to admit to.   Yet, in a relationship, I find that this is often how I feel.

I made a conscious decision to take time out for myself a couple of years ago .. I needed the time to concentrate on fixing me rather than trying to always be the support for someone else.  It is a decision I do not regret, it has made me see myself in a different light, what I need, what I want and to let things go that used to play on my mind.    

I have been very lucky with the close friends that I have, who have understood that sometimes I just need to be alone .. to potter, to do nothing, to think … to be me… but if I have needed them or wanted company, they have been there with their silent, but very appreciated, support.

I have a very different life to the one I had a year ago … I have no stress, no worry, I have peace in my heart and in my mind . and it is truly a beautiful thing to realise that you wake up happy every morning.

Maybe I am destined to remain single … I am certainly not worried about whether I meet someone or not .. but I do know that when, and IF, I do meet someone it will not be someone who sets my soul on fire for a short time … it will be someone who makes me feel the embers always, someone I can rely on.  Someone who gives me peace.

For me, that is love.

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Sometimes …

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…. I am too busy to think about “stuff” that I would like to write about …. my thoughts have been taken up with the writing I am doing for my ceremonies and it seems to have drained my need to write a blog.

In a way it is a good thing … I just love the job I am doing now and I love writing something that means so much to them.  In a way it has almost turned on it’s head.  Now, instead of writing for me, I am writing for other people and there is something very satisfying when you present your tribute to a family and they are happy.

My only wee “irk” about the job is singing … I am not a good singer and even though I have been practicing like mad …put me in front of a crowd of mourners and my voice turns into this high pitched squeak … I pity the poor buggers who have to listen to me!

There have been some fantastic stories and characters … some tributes are like performing a stand up comedy act, others are a bit more solemn but still with a touch of humour.

I have had more than a few comments great regarding the tributes I have written but in all honesty, a good tribute can only be put together if you have the stories from the families.

Next week I am doing one that will entail me standing up and ringing a bell for last orders!    I am so excited about it (can you practice bell ringing?).

Apart from work, I have been quite busy on the social side of things … getting out and about now the nights are longer and having a fantastic laugh with a few of my friends.

I am also waiting delivery of a new suite … so my corner sofa can go out into the summerhouse .. I am painting the inside of it this weekend .. I’ve been meaning to do that for a couple of years but just never got round to it .. so .. this weekend I will!  *determined look”

I also have to paint the outside of it again … I tried painting it green .. but it is horrible .. I dinny like it at all!   so I may (weather permitting!) tackle that again … 

I have a few busy months lined up and I have eventually learned how to stop stressing about things … life at the moment is just fabulous … long may it continue!

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