Brae. A gay woman's tale!

If there is one thing in life that I enjoy is a laugh .. I like to laugh, I like to make people laugh .. I have met so many friends through laughing and it is always a joy to meet up with them and laugh our heads off.   Last weekend I went to Leeds and I literally could NOT move for laughing .. in the end I had to ask Twanky, Karen, Viv and Laurel to stop!  It was just one of those really nice and easy weekends, good friends, good food, good wine and good laughs.. what weekends should be all about.

There have been times in my life where it has been hard for me to laugh .. we (or most of us) have all had the heartache of the break up of an affair (and boy does that cut to the quick) and I went through a very huge blow to my pride when I lost my first business and home .. BUT through it all I had friends in the background who stood by me, let me fall to pieces and then let ME pick myself back up again .. it was a long road and during those days I had very little to laugh about.

Now, 5 years later, I am a director of a successful small recruitment agency and looking back the hard, bad times were tough, but now they are a time that I am GLAD I experienced.  I learned so much about me, about my attitude and about what I want out of life.. and the results were quite surprising! but … the most important lesson I learned .. no matter how bad and dark my days were .. something that made me laugh lifted my spirits and made things seem OK.. even if just for a short period.

I know I sometimes over use “humour”, it is my defence mechanism, sometimes I am misunderstood with it .. and have to dig myself out of very big holes.. (whoops!).. when I was younger I was actually quite shy (yup .. I know .. unbelievable eh!) well .. actually no .. my humour hid the fact I was self consious and shy ..

Now it is a very different matter, I use humour because it “amuses me” (grin!) .. I love to laugh and my outrageous behaviour is no longer down to covering my shyness or self conciousness .. it is because I AM being outrageous .. simply because I can be <grin>

As Mohammed Ali said “there is no shame in going down, the shame is in staying down”

ohhhh this has been one long week .. it is very very quiet in work .. not much in the way of new business coming in because of the “trades holidays” in Fife, Edinburgh and Glasgow.  Saying that we still have a lot of people out working but they are all behaving themselves and I have only had to replace two this week.

Im off to Leeds this weekend to see my friends Twanky and Karen.  Viv and Laurel, other friends who I have not seen in 5 years or so will also be there and hopefully if lumps, bumps and madness allows Lubey and Mags will be there too.

It will be funny meeting up with them as a single woman .. as I have always met up with them as part of a couple (apart from Lubey but we got wayyyyyy back!).

I guess it will be my coming out party .. LOL   look out “wuruld” 

I am really looking forward to it .. I love catching up with people, especially the people who are going along as they are all interesting, fun and completely bonkers!

I have other friends who do not know this group and I would love to get them all together .. I can just imagine the hooting and laughing that would go on.

When all is said and done.. lovers, money, property come and go but true friends, no matter if you see them once a week, once a year or once every ten years are the one thing that will give you constant joy .. (apart from a dog of course!)

Have a lovely weekend everyone, I hope you all have frienship, smiles and a wee bit of sun!

As some of you know I have a wee problem with my left arm at the moment .. I have frozen shoulder and carpel tunnel (I don’t do ANYTHING by half!)…

Anyway .. my arm was a bit painful last night so I decided to take two Solpadol before going to bed .. and they caught in my throat.

It was very scary, I was choking and couldn’t get them to go up or down, I was trying to drink water and it was coming back out my mouth (lovely sight and I soaked my kitchen!).. it really was a panic moment, it was like my throat had just gone into a spasm .. I began to feel really lightheaded and I really did think “this is it” .. killed by frozen shoulder (well .. at least I would make the history books!) .. then all of a sudden my throat just seemed to open and I could breathe again.

It did give me a fright and I had to sit down and have a wee cry to myself .. it got me thinking..

1) Would Brae have eaten me  (that thought freaked me out!)

2) How happy I was that I didn’t die!  .. ok maybe it was a minor incident and I wouldnt have actually choked to death .. but at the time it was happening I really thought I might.

3) The only thing people will have to remind them of me is the drunken videos/dvd’s that I have   (must make new ones when I don’t sound like a screeching banshee and I can talk sense!).

4) Would my mum actually have me cremated (I want to be cremated .. she doesn’t agree with it!)

5) Would there be a hot meal or a buffet at my funeral – and who would come to cry and who would come to dance on my grave!

OK I know there are maybe 1 or 2 strange thoughts in there .. but they all did run through my head ..  anyway .. panic is over .. Im here .. you can put away your black frocks and hats (YUP everyone has to come in a black frock and black hat to my cremation!),  no flowers though .. donations to Second Chance Kennels instead!   Oh and the contents of my “briefcase” can be auctioned <wink>

Ive had a lot of fun this week scanning and uploading photos onto facebook .. some of the fashion faux pas have been fantastic and how many times did I have my puppies out!! <blush>

From these photos and comments made on them a whole lot of people who had lost contact are now reconnecting on Facebook and that is fab.. exactly what Facebook should be all about.

Hopefully we can arrange a reunion at some stage in Croydon .. I have many happy memories and many people I care for and who made me laugh so much down there and it would be great for us all to get together just to catch up and have a good old hoot .. I would really like this and I make one promise .. “They” will stay hidden! LOL