Beauty in the mist

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photo courtesy of Sue Fallon

There is something beautiful about the silhouette of the trees against the mist.  An air of mystery that we all interpret differently.  Some will see this as dark and eerie, some will see the beauty of moment, a snapshot of our world that can go from colour to gloom in a very short time and vice versa.

For me my period of gloom seems to be coming to an end, I am beginning to enjoy life again, I am more relaxed, less tired and beginning to see nice things in the future instead of a bleak hole.

In hindsight it has been a very interesting journey to a place where I haven’t visited before but I know I will not forget it.   I have had dark times in the past that were stressful, but thankfully short, but the mist that swallowed me this time seemed to creep up slowly, without me really noticing until I was completely surrounded and unable to see a way forward or back.   To call it a mist is probably an understatement .. it was a fog, that wrapped itself around me and took away my ability to see or hear things clearly, my world seemed muffled, my head empty and my thoughts bounced in a way I couldn’t understand.

I thought this was an ugly dark place, a place I wanted to escape from but had no idea how to.   I felt trapped, scared and totally unable to function in a way I could understand.  It is difficult to explain to others how this feels when in reality you don’t understand yourself.  Nothing made sense.

Looking back now the picture is clearer, I can see the path I took, a long and meandering path, that reflected the stumbling I felt in my head as I tried to find my direction but kept going round in circles, getting more and more frustrated with the feeling of complete incompetency and worthlessness inside me.

I can’t say it is a journey I have enjoyed, but on reflection it a journey I am glad I have taken, it has made me realise what is important to me, what my strengths are, what my weaknesses are and more importantly how many other people have taken the same journey before me.  No doubt there will be more in the future who will lose their way in the fog and my advice to you is just keep taking another step, eventually you will get to where you want to be, it may be a long slow journey and sometimes you will stumble but just keep taking another step, eventually you will walk out of it.

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Even the best liars ….

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The awful saga surrounding Jimmy Saville is one that is causing shockwaves around the country.   How something this big could be covered up for so long is shocking and disturbing, especially when so many people witnessed what was going on.   It seems that fame, money and the big corporations covered things up .. the reputation of one of their money spinners being more important that the poor children that were being abused.   Thankfully the lies and the deceit are now coming out of the shadows and the truth is coming to light.

On a different note, Lance Armstrong a hero in the cycling world, has been discovered to have been part of the biggest and sophisticated drug cover up in sport in a long time.   Drugs and cycling have been linked for a long time but to have a hero who openly spoke out about against taking enhancement drugs is disappointing and disrespectful.

It seems, especially in sport, that it is acceptable to lie and cheat in order to gain what you want… which is a sad reflection on society and people today.

What both men have lost is more than money can ever buy.. their reputation.   At the end of the day we are judged not by how much money we have in the bank, or how many trophies we display but on our character and the memories and smiles we leave behind.

 

 

 

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