Goodbye 2011… I’ll miss you

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Well, it’s that time of year again … when we make promises to ourselves that we will never keep (well, I know I won’t!) and when we look back and reflect on the year that has past and have a wee smile about the fun and good times we had.   Of course, it hasn’t all been fun times,there are times that we may wish had never happened or we have guilt or regrets about but they are all experiences that in some way shape our future lives.

For me, 2011 has been a year when I have met some great people, formed some lovely friendships and had some great experiences that I will always look back on with a wee smile in my heart.   I am actually sorry to see the end of 2011, it’s been great fun!

I do know that the change in year does not bring a change in fortune for me or for anyone else, change, for all of us, comes from within.. we cannot just sit back and expect a date change to bring us happiness or peace, it is something we have to do for ourselves.

I have posted this quote by Charles Swindoll before on a previous blog, but as we go into 2012 it is perhaps more appropriate than ever.


 The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.  It will make or break a company… a church … a home.

 The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.   We cannot change our past … we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.   The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have, and that is our attitude….

 I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.   And so it is with you….We are in charge of our attitude.”

So, as the bells chime out tonight, look back, remember and smile .. then focus on the future.  We cannot change what has gone, we can change what is to come.

Happy New Year to you all, may you find peace and happiness in 2012, because, in the end that is all that matters.


I really have nothing more to add …

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Just click the link …   I live with a Diva!


Vaner’s first acting class!

Life is never easy…

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For most of us life can be a struggle.  We go through tough times in life in various guises, whether it be a broken heart from a failed relationship or a deep hurt from what we perceive as “failure” whether it be in business or in family matters.   We do have bad times, we also have good times, but it is finding a balance that satisfies us that is the key.

For some of us we live in a world of “what if’s”  .. of course a little fantasy can help us achieve our goals and our dreams but sometimes people do live in a fairy world of “perfection” where they expect their relationships or their jobs to give them total fulfillment, more often than not they end up disillusioned and bitter.  Perfection does not exist, it never will.

Sometimes we doubt ourselves far too much, sometimes we settle for something we know isn’t right for us but will “do”.   Sometimes we just get lazy and bitter or take the easy option because we know it can’t hurt us.

We all do it, at times we all suffer from doubts, we all feel lost, we all feel sad and worthless.  What we have to do is accept that this is how life is, sometimes it will just be a bloody pain… the quicker we stop wallowing in self pity, roll up or sleeves and decide to do something about it the better.  An action ALWAYS has a reaction.

It is our actions that will decide on our future and our happiness.

Never hold back because of pride or embarrassment, you may not get the answer or the reaction you want, but you will lose some of the doubt and the “what if’s”.

If you try, even if you fail, you have still succeeded.

What really matters..

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It’s Christmas .. most of us have woken to a pile of presents from our friends and family, but we will all have our favourite and not necessarily the most expensive one.

For me having Vaner take 3 hours yesterday to make me cards is very special.  I awoke this morning to a fantastically funny card that she made me .. with a long ribbon that trailed through the house to the bathroom, at the end of the ribbon was a pack of Tunnocks Caramel Wafer biscuits .. the thought and the care that went into this really means more to me than I can say ..  I laughed so much at this .. a small thing .. a thoughtful thing .. something that means an awful lot to me.

This Christmas take a minute out of your day to have a wee thought for the people who have saved hard all year to give a small thoughtful, inexpensive present to the people they care about.  These are the people who deserve our thoughts today.  These are the people who really have love in their hearts.

Have a great day everyone .. I hope you find peace in your hearts and your minds.

P.S.   The hats belong to my mum!  She made us wear them!




Merry Christmas….

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To all of you.. whoever and wherever you are.. I wish you a Merry and more importantly peaceful Christmas.

Vaner and I are having a marvelous run up to Christmas.  A visit to the Ballet a couple of weeks ago, a wild and wonderful weekend in Dundee with the Rubyfruits girls (gimp masks included! – long story … don’t ask!) and last night a visit to the panto in Dunfermline, which was made especially nice by a guest spot appearance by Jade Richards (the Scottish girl from Xfactor who sadly didn’t get past the judges house round).  She appeared on stage to sing “someone like you”, which had me in tears.   She was just phenomenal!   Release that album Jade, I want to buy it!

Earlier in the day Vaner had been lurking around Dunfermline waiting for me to arrive and accidentally bumped into Jade in one of the shops.   Vaner, in her very Spanish way, asked her if she could have a photo taken as she

Jade Richards and Vaner

had a friend that was a fan.  Jade had been charming, friendly and delighted to oblige and I am over the moon that Vaner did this for me.

This weekend should be fun .. for Christmas Eve we are planning a quiet night at home having a “Spanish” night and then off to my mums for Christmas dinner before popping over to Edinburgh to my friends Kate and Fiona for a night of drinking, playing games and generally making a fool of ourselves!    It is also my birthday on Christmas day … but last year was the last one I planned to have .. so this year doesn’t count!

Next week I have to work for a few days then New Year will be upon us … we are off to a hotel for a ceilidh celebration, which Vaner is so excited about … poor girl has no idea what to expect of our Scottish Dancing .. she will learn!

On the 4th we are off on holiday for a week .. Cyprus .. a nice week of sunshine (hopefully!) and chilling out before heading back to the UK and back to work for me and back to college for Vaner on her new language course.

It’s all rather exciting really …

I hope your plans and your celebrations go well .. have a fab one .. see you on the other side!


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(of a state, quality, or emotion) Very great or intense.
The vast depth of the ocean or of the mind.
adjective. deep – thorough – sound
noun. profundity – depth – deep – abyss – chasm


Tonight I thought I would take time out to write something meaningful and interesting.   Instead all I will say is….

I’m tired.

Forget all those diets …

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Image… There is truly only one way to lose weight (apart from eating less and moving more!) .. and that is the winter sickness bug .. also known as Norovirus.

I am recovering today after two days of hell .. how can a wee bug make you feel so bad .. I honestly didn’t know what end to point at the toilet .. the stomach cramps were unbelievable .. and even my dog  kept sitting staring at the grey faced monster in front of her.  The kitten wasn’t so kind.. she just kept on doing her “thang” and demanding to be fed whether I could stand the smell of her food or not!

On the plus side, at least Vaner is in Spain visiting her parents, she hasn’t had to put up the pathetic patient that I am (crabby, demanding and, frankly, pathetic!)

Yesterday, during Hurricane Bawbag (yup .. we Scots come up with fab names for things!) I sat here with my coal fire roaring, the wind howling round the cottage and the pets fast asleep on the sofa thinking how perfect this picture would be if it wasn’t for the fact I had diarrhea from hell.  Actually just having diarrhea was a blessing, the day before it was sickness and diarrhea.   I got cocky.. I cooked an omelette ..

Uh oh .. bad mistake … the sickness came back with a vengeance and I did actually have a wee cry..mostly out of pure frustration that I felt so bad, but also because there was no-one around to go “there there there”.

Today has been better, my stomach is settling down, I can actually eat something and keep it like a normal person .. whoo hoo

Then the post came .. a letter from the tax office ..  OMG!! where is the toilet …

I owe them £538.00 in underpaid tax … my accountant is going to get a tough time on Monday!

A fabulous weekend

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Some weekends just seem to come and go without me ever achieving anything.. this weekend I got lucky!

Friday night was our Christmas party .. a night out for the 6 of us from Brae to the conference centre in Dunfermline for one of their party nights.  What a bloody laugh, good company, good food and good wine (perfect really) and we amused ourselves greatly at some of the other party guests … sadly lacking in mirrors in their homes.

Saturday I took myself off to Edinburgh to meet an old pal and her girlfriend who were visiting Edinburgh.  Some of my Edinburgh pals also came along too and it was fabulous to see Jane after all these years.. again much laughter and lovely chats with everyone.  I had missed out on my usual Wednesday night jaunts to Edinburgh for a couple of weeks due to having the other 2 dogs staying for 8 days.    Love them as I do they were too much for my wee place .. I did attempt to pick up the poops this morning but with half the garden done and half a bin bag of shit I gave up ..either nature will take its course or I will sob pathetically in work tomorrow and ask Karen to come and pick up her dogs shits!

Today my plans were foiled a little as Vaner was asked to work today but we managed to get ourselves out of the house reasonably early and headed up to Crieff.   It was a lovely sunny but crisp morning here at the cottage but by the time we hit Dunfermline (3 miles away!) there was a definite little layer of snow.

By the time we had reached Glendevon I was sliding all over the road .. a bit scary to say the least but we passed a snowplow heading in the opposite direction so I had a feeling it would be easier on the way back .. and it was!

It was a great day .. Vaner being particularly excited about seeing her first Scottish snow .. poor wee soul … it was only a dusting .. I fear for her mental health if we get snow like we did last year!

Tonight I am all tucked up with the coal fire blazing, a fabby pasta cooked and life is peaceful and easy.   Although I do have to drag myself out later to go and pick Vaner up after her shift but at least I will come home to a warm home!

The only slight disaster was losing the lovely thumb ring I bought when we went to Brighton .. however the good news (yeh!) is that I found it … the bad news (boo!) was that it was in the ashes of the fire this morning! … it is completely black (not a good look for a silver ring!)  and currently soaking in a cup of coke in the hope that it will come up nice and shiny again!

Vaner is away next week, she is going home to Spain to see her parents and friends, I have to admit I am slightly jealous … a week in the sun would be fab right now!   but on the 4th of January we are off to Cyprus for a week so at least it isn’t too long for me to wait.

Why being Scottish is now an embarrassment

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I am a Scot.   I have played for Scotland at hockey. I have served in the Army. I have my own business.   All of these things I have been very proud of.   I also happen to be a lesbian.

I am not a religious person.  I never have been, I never will be.   In my opinion the bible is a load of old tosh, written by individuals with their own opinion and views (a bit like today’s Wikipedia!)…

I am disgusted and frankly astounded at the Church of Scotland’s stance again gay marriage.     The church is, and always has been, a corrupt and bigoted organisation that has had too much power in the past.

Ask yourself this

How many wars have been caused by religion?

How many wars have been caused by homosexuality?

How many acts of peodophillia has the church covered up?

How often has the church treated women like second class citizens?

The Church of Scotland should hang it’s head in shame.

One of the major statements released reads  “To redefine marriage to include same-sex marriage may have significant and, as yet, inadequately considered repercussions for our country, for the wellbeing of families, communities and individuals.”


And how can the fact that two people who love each other and want the right to choose a church wedding cause such civil chaos?

Im afraid religion has once again become an excuse for bigottry … a sad and frankly embarrassing time for Scotland… we are a country going backwards.

The link to the full article can be read here  http://www.scotsman.com/news/politics/kirk_joins_fight_against_homosexual_marriages_1_1990223


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