It’s Valentines day

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Valentines day.  When smitten lovers or hopeful lovers spend a fortune on romance.   

Ok … maybe I’m a wee bit cynical .. but I have been pondering over the thought of romance and love and how different we all “believe” love to be.

This is my own, very personal view of how I see love.   You may not all agree with me … that is your right, but this is what makes me feel loved and how I show it.    

I truly believe that to be successful in love that you have to meet someone who can walk the journey of life, and it’s trials and tribulations, alongside you.   You have to have the same morals in life, the same expectations, the same desires.   Without any of these you will never make a relationship work, no matter how much you love someone.

You need someone who appreciates you for the little things, who is grateful for all the things you do from the heart and who truly wants to be with you.   To plan things with you, to spend time alone with you doing nothing, 

I enjoy being single … I cannot stand drama or uncertainty in my life but there are times when I wake up during the night and I miss not having someone to snuggle into or to hold her hand.

I am not very romantic at heart, … my way of showing I care is in a practical and probably very boring way to some, but to someone else it will be perfect.  

I don’t expect everything to be rosy, there will be arguments, there has to be to make a relationship work for both, but I do believe in compromise…. as long as it runs both ways!

I also appreciate being able to talk to someone.. but they must be able to listen, to understand, to read between the lines… and you can only do this if you are really interested in someone.

What I do want to do is make someone smile, from their lips to their heart … someone I want to hold, in silence at times and laughing our heads off at other times.

I want someone who when they say “I love you” means it … forever, not just for the time and the circumstance but really means it.

Someone who will be as excited as me to plan wee trips and holidays together.

I think what I am trying to say is that I want someone who really makes me believe that our relationship truly is about “us” .. and not me always pampering to them…. that just makes me feel used and that there is an ulterior motive.

Maybe I expect too much … but I do know that I need someone mature enough to compromise and who really understands and  values a partnership.

Until she comes along … I will stay single .. my life is too good to spoil it with meaningless relationships where I end up feeling used or taken advantage of … I know I have a kind heart … someone out there will grab it and appreciate it … until then .. I will cuddle my dog!!


Leave the drama at the door


I’m at the age where my priorities and outlook from what I want from life are much more simple and less “idealised” than what I wanted in my youth.

I no longer want to conquer the world or be a millionaire, I no longer envy what other people have because I have everything in my life that makes me contented and happy.  I would like to share this with someone.

I don’t want a partner to change or rock my world, I just want someone who understands me and my life. I simply want to keep being contented and have someone who makes me smile, understands my need for “me time” and doesn’t expect me to be the reason for their happiness or security.

I want a partner who has a life, enjoys her life, lives her life and has space in it to share some of her time with me and to look forward to our shared time together.

A relationship has to be a shared experience, not always 50/50 as sometimes one or the other will need support and understanding but it has to work both ways.

I don’t want to be rushed into things or made to feel guilty about parts of me and my make up that I have accepted and don’t want to change. I do not want to be changed, I simply want to be me, with someone who is comfortable in their own skin and life and someone that is happy to have me in their life to compliment it .. not to make it.

I want honesty, reliability and affection.  I want to compromise, not give in.   I want to laugh, not worry.

Too much to ask for?  You tell me..

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