Growing in Love

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ImageI commented today on Facebook that I do not want to fall in love, people fall in and out of love too easily.  I want to grow in love.

It caused quite a debate … and how after the “lust” part goes often you are left disappointed and dissatisfied.

Nicky, a friend of mine, posted this … and it sums it up perfectly.  

Falling in lust is the excitement at the beginning, the attraction…real love grows from time spent together where you know why you respect them, when you really know who your partner is, through the bad, sad, hard times and the happy, fun days, the times spent together working for your future, and from compatibility, making a home together and living in harmony and happiness,…….it takes more than love to make a relationship work, to make it rich and fulfilling every day requires an effort on both parts and a commitment to giving something special, it is not superficial, it is not just about attraction………and that does make you go weak at the knees, it is passionate, it is intense, it is deep, and secure, actually it is mind blowing…..when your lover is your best friend, you live in harmony and show each other every day with random acts of love, and time spent together…I am not just lucky, I give a lot, as does my partner, every day. That is love, it is a verb.


I want to know what love is



I have just had a very interesting online conversation with someone who has just read my blog.   I don’t know this girl and she does not know me .. but she liked the blog and asked why I came across so cynical towards love.

It was a hard question to answer … and I’m not sure I know the answer to it anyway.

She went onto say that 2 months ago she met a woman who is her “soul mate”, they are looking for flat together now and talking about having a family in the future and looking into the best way of doing this.

I asked her if she felt this was a long enough time to know someone to make these types of decisions and her reply was “Yes, everytime I see her I just want to make love to her”.

Now .. I’m all for a bit of passion and butterflies, but to build a “relationship” on the fact that you want to have sex with someone is, in my opinion, a recipe for disaster.

It takes me a while to fall in love, but when I love, I do love, maybe not in a huge passionate way, but in my way.  I like to see what is left after the passion dies down a bit.

Maybe I have this all wrong .. I am really not sure … maybe I think differently, maybe I’m more cautious, but I certainly wouldn’t commit like that after 2 months!

What do you think??   Am I wrong?

Love and Lust

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Lust is a fire storm that all consumes.

A fire that burns fiercely, lighting your world and touching everything but like all fires, it does burn out.

More often than not you are left with ashes.

I want to left with embers of love.

Lust is strong, taking your mind, owning your soul.

Love is quieter, it doesn’t fill your head, it doesn’t cause butterflies, it is just a feeling of belonging, of comfort of being safe.

In the fight between Lust and Love, Lust will always win the battle but Love will always win the war.

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