Brae. A gay woman's tale!

Most of us, at some point, have been victims of emotional abuse.  You know the sort of thing “I can’t live without you”.. “you are the only one who understands me” .. all that rubbish.

I have been there more than once.. and I have witnessed it being used on others.  The difficult thing is, it is sometimes very hard to understand that it is happening to you, you make excuses, you begin to lie to cover up their behaviour, you begin to cling onto a tiny bit of “niceness” in the wilderness of crap that you find yourself wandering through.

I hate emotional abuse, if I hear it being used or threatened I completely turn off.  I have a very very low opinion of people who use it, I certainly do not want anyone like that in my life.    However lately there has been a huge increase in social media threats.  Sadly one person did take her life, this was not down to facebook, but to her mental illness however it seems easier to blame facebook than for those closest to her to accept any responsibility.   Passing the buck so they do not feel guilt.

I have witnessed a few people on facebook pull themselves apart because of this and of other threats, these people are being emotionally abused by the sad little idiots who just seem to know what buttons to press.    My advice, clear them off your friends list, attention seekers will always demand attention and in “real life” would you have these people as friends .. I think not.  

I am happy to add people to my friends list, but the moment I sniff a bit of emotional abuse or attention seeking (that isn’t done with bit of tongue in cheek humour!) they are off…

I have a strict “no emotional blackmailers” policy in my real life and in my social networking.  It did take me a long time to see what damage can be done by these people but I am so glad I finally did.

Facebook is for social media, not for social work … perhaps we should remember this in our real lives too.

Sometimes … well .. more than sometimes .. I can get on my high horse.. I can huff and puff, swear a bit and occassionally try to kick an arse or two!

I make no apologies for me .. it’s all part of who I am .. and sometimes even though I annoy people, I like to say what I think.

Today I read that an American woman who fell into a fountain whilst she was texting is going to sue ..  you can see the video by clicking here (ignore the adverts at the beginning).   What is wrong with people!  Stupid twit that she is!

On a more serious note there are other people out there who think nothing of using others and getting their own way by emotional blackmail.   The old “I really love you” , “I really need you”,  “I can’t go on without you”   “I will fling myself under a bus/truck” type.   To be honest I run a mile from people like this.  They really have no part in my life.

I hate to see friends of mine and others being badly treated by these “sweetness and light” people … however, it did take me a long time to learn that.   I have fallen for the old “you don’t really love me”, “It’s your fault I feel like this” trick once too often .. but they were my lessons to learn and now I am glad I have because I can spot it coming a mile away.

These people really make me go Grrrrrrrrrr .. more than the drivers who pull out in front of me, the slow queues in the bank (Santander in Kirkcaldy .. get your friggin finger out!) , or just eejits in general – it really doesn’t take much for me to go Grrrrrrr! but I am just as easy to be made to go Prrrrrrrrr! too!

Anyway .. that’s my Grrrrrr! for today .. (so far!)

All of us expect to be able to choose our friends and what knowledge they have about you in real life.  Online should be no different.    I have a facebook account and I have chosen who I let see information.   I have also chosen NOT to allow my information to become public to those who are not connected to me.

Through this I have lost a “real life” friend on facebook.  It is rather more complicated than that but suffice to say that she is involved with someone who I want nothing to do with.   This friend gave her password to her partner who then “fraped” her (childish I know!) but I objected to this person having access to my information and had no choice but to remove my “real life” friend from my friends list.  To be honest I didn’t want to do this.. she is funny, articulate and intelligent and I enjoy her posts and her banter .. I have tried to explain how I feel but I was just shouted down.

She is not someone I want to fall out with.. she has her life to lead and she has chosen what information she shows to people on facebook .. yet objects to me wanting privacy from someone who should not have access to what I put on facebook.  

I do not know if I am being overly suspicious .. but I have also sent texts that were friendly and sociable that were never received… or if they were .. they were deleted… I find this very strange and slightly worrying.

I do not know how to solve this ..  opinions welcome…