Growing in Love

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ImageI commented today on Facebook that I do not want to fall in love, people fall in and out of love too easily.  I want to grow in love.

It caused quite a debate … and how after the “lust” part goes often you are left disappointed and dissatisfied.

Nicky, a friend of mine, posted this … and it sums it up perfectly.  

Falling in lust is the excitement at the beginning, the attraction…real love grows from time spent together where you know why you respect them, when you really know who your partner is, through the bad, sad, hard times and the happy, fun days, the times spent together working for your future, and from compatibility, making a home together and living in harmony and happiness,…….it takes more than love to make a relationship work, to make it rich and fulfilling every day requires an effort on both parts and a commitment to giving something special, it is not superficial, it is not just about attraction………and that does make you go weak at the knees, it is passionate, it is intense, it is deep, and secure, actually it is mind blowing…..when your lover is your best friend, you live in harmony and show each other every day with random acts of love, and time spent together…I am not just lucky, I give a lot, as does my partner, every day. That is love, it is a verb.


The curse of Bitterness

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We have all been hurt in our lives.  We have all cried and believed we would never feel better, never love again, never be the person we were.

This happens.   Life is like that.   You need the low times to really understand the person you are so you can grow as a person, mature emotionally and become the person we eventually grow into.

We make mistakes, we make fools of ourselves, we believe people who speak the words of love but never show the actions that prove it.  Not because we are stupid but because we believe that people are as honest as ourselves.

How we deal with this depends on our attitude.    We all deserve the right to hurt and mourn the end of a relationship, and so we should, people who can walk away easily without a backward thought have never loved deeply.  They cannot open up their heart.

Have I ever been bitter?   Yes … but funny enough when I was actually IN relationships … it was when I hit the bitterness stage I realised that it was time to go.   Has it hurt?   Yes … but there is no use in fighting for something when you cannot be heard.

Have I been on the receiving end of bitterness  Yes.    Did it hurt?   Yes.   It was meant to and it did.

Bitterness comes from frustration, from anger, from jealousy, from not being able to understand and it is a curse.

We have to let it go, we have to forgive, maybe not forget .. but move on or we will be trapped in the same cycle of mistrust and misunderstanding which is not healthy for us as individuals or in a relationship.

We have to be honest with ourselves, we have to kill the irk in the pit of our stomach or we will end up caught in the trap of bitterness and never find the peace we deserve.


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