No apologies .. written by me to amuse myself!
A Ken ah said ah luved yeh
Ah ken ah said ah luved yeh … and ah did mean every wurd
That was of course before ye turned into a monster of a burd
Ah didny mind you moaning .. in between the sheets
But yer constant bloody nagging got right inside ma heed.
Ah listened to yer voice but no tae what you say’d
An’ eventually ah decided to kick you out ma baid.
Ye didn’t take it lightly, ye took it kinda haird
Ah guess from you this valentines ah’ll no be gettin a caird.
A wee ode to us slimmers for Valentines …
Ah thought ah wid surprise yeh and lose a little weight
For valentines especially, you bein’ my special date
Ah watched every mouthful, measured every cup
But noo my fancy knickers will no bloody well stay up.
I pranced around the kitchen, cooking yer special tea
And ended up showing aw the neighbours far too much of me
So heed ma little warnin’ dinny lose the weight
Especially if you want your knickers to stay up fur yer date
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 
Feb 13, 2015 @ 21:08:05
Hahah!! sublime!