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I love my family.   We may all be slightly eccentric in our own little way, but we are close and help each other whenever we can in all sorts of ways.

I am going away this weekend and I have bought some things that I want to keep cool during my 5 hour drive.   However, I could not find my coolbox.   I searched my cottage from top to bottom (which took all of 2 minutes, since it isn’t exactly a big cottage!).. but no luck.  Then I remembered …. back in the summer I took Big Muva and Little Sista away for a week in Wales and used the coolbox then … so I called my mum, who was out, but I spoke to Margaret, my sister.

The conversation went like this:

ME: Margaret, I can’t find my coolbox, is it there?

MAG:   No.

ME: Are you sure because the last time I seen it was when we came back from Wales and mum had stuff in it for the fridge.

MAG: No it is not here but it might be upstairs in mums room.

ME: *sigh* Can you check and call me back

MAG:   OK, what is it?

ME: Its a coolbox, you know what we put the stuff in to keep it cool when we went to Wales, its blue with an orange lid and should have a couple of cooler blocks inside!

MAG: OK.  I will check

(Phone goes down)

A couple of minutes later the phone rings

ME:   Hi Margaret .. was it in mums room

MAG:  Well, there is one in mums room but I think its mums.

ME:   No Margaret it is mine, we used it to go to Wales!  (by this time my voice was getting shrill)

MAG:  But I remember mum buying one about 6 years ago.

ME:  Yes Margaret, she bought it for ME!!!  It is mine, I use it for camping. 

MAG: OK

ME:   Can you do me a favour, can you rinse it out for me and put the cooler blocks in the freezer

MAG:   Will the explode?

ME:   NO …. THEY WILL NOT EXPLODE!!!

MAG:   Can I rinse them in warm water or just cold water

ME: Warm soapy water will be FINE!!!

MAG: and they won’t explode?

ME: NO!!!!!!

MAG: What if there is no room in the freezer?

ME:  Why don’t you go and check then ….

MAG: OK ……. (footsteps, bang, crash, rustle, rustle and rustle some more, tap gets turned on, splish and sploshing for a few minutes, footsteps)

MAG:   Jayne, there is room and I’ve washed the two blocks and put them in the freezer.  They didn’t explode.

ME:  Thanks Margaret (in an exasperated voice!)

MAG:  When are you coming to get them

ME: Tomorrow morning sometime, I will call mum in the morning

MAG:  (long silence) … how long can I leave the blocks in the freezer

ME: Overnight is fine Margaret.

MAG:   Will they explode?

ME: NO THEY WON’T FUCKING EXPLODE!!     LEAVE THEM IN THERE OVERNIGHT, GO TO WORK IN THE MORNING AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT THEM

MAG:  Ok,   What time will you be coming for them

ME:  (getting to the end of my tether now…..)    I’ve just told you … I will phone Mum in the morning.

MAG:  Ok. but she takes me to work in the morning at 8.10am

ME:   That’s OK I won’t be that early .. I will call her tomorrow to arrange a time.

MAG:  Ok.   Are the blocks safe to leave in the Freezer overnight?

ME:   YESSSSSS … 

MAG:  Ok.   I will just keep checking on them.

ME:  Margaret, there is NO need to check on them….they will NOT explode, they will NOT burst… they won’t do anything apart from freeze!!!!

MAG:   OK.   Bye.

ME:   *banging head off wall*