Relationships are never easy, they are not meant to be. They make us happy, they make us angry, they may make us sad but they make us!.
Communication is the key to every relationship. I do not mean the day to day chit chat but real communication, whether it be verbal or physical, but communication is the key that we often misplace.
It is not always about what is said, or what is implied, a lot of the time we forget to listen, I mean really listen without already starting to form a reply or rebuff in our minds. There is nothing more heartbreaking than knowing that what you have said has not been heard, or it has been ignored or turned around.
It is also a two way thing, you cannot have someone who is willing to talk and one who isn’t or one who is not capable of hearing what is being said. In these cases it is not a working relationship but a relationship that one person is working at.
Frustration at not being heard will kill any relationship, having to repeat, having to explain the same thing over and over will never allow the relationship to flow and be peaceful and the realisation that if someone cannot listen to the little things then the big things will be equally ignored.
Sometimes our lack of communication or understanding are for entirely different reasons. We can be misguided by our own thoughts, our own minds, our own moods but if a relationship is strong enough and a true partnership then the other will understand and accept that this is just part of a normal relationship, the ebb and flow of love.
Some put up with relationships that do not work because they cannot face being single. Being single does NOT mean being alone, it simply means that for most of us we are strong enough to enjoy our own company, to find our own peace.
Honesty and trust is probably the single most important thing in any relationship. Once it has gone you begin to close up, begin to doubt.
Understanding and communication does come with maturity. We know in ourselves where we find our peace, who can give us the peace we need, not all the time, but at the important times when we need it the most.
We know who will stand by us. We know who won’t. It is a gut feeling, an instinct and it is always right.
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 