There are “issues” in our lives that are taboo to talk about.

As we grow older, we change, things change, our bodies change. Our needs change.

For some how we respond physically no longer becomes “automatic”… no longer guaranteed. It is frustrating and confusing for our partners, it is frustrating and confusing for us. We can try to explain, we can try to rationalise… but it is impossible for those who have not been through it to understand.

It is not a lack of love, it is not a rejection, it is not “giving up”.

Words have to be listened to. “Just hold me” is a plea for understanding. “Stop” means just that. The pain is real.

The lacking we have will pass, for some in months, for some it takes longer because the physical lacking turns into mental doubt.

Not everyone has a partner understands, perhaps for a variety of reasons, mainly based around their own needs and desires. Or perhaps simply because their own insecurities do not allow them to believe.

We are not cruel, we are not cold, we are not looking for a way out. We just want to feel normal.