We all lose ourselves from time to time.   Whether it be through hurt, depression, lack of confidence or just life being it’s usual twisty turny self.

When I look back I can see when I started to disappear … into a quagmire of responsibility, stress, obligation and expectation.   It was no-one’s fault but mine.   I allowed this to happen because I thought that is where my life path was taking me …  In reality it was life teaching me that there is more to living that how I was .. who I was … 

I admire people who find their vocation in life early on.  I admire people who find the love of their life early on … I am not one of these people.

I have always been responsible .. even before my army days … I suffer from guilt and responsibility and they do effect the decisions I made in life.     I thought myself into things .. and I thought myself out of things.

For the first time in my life I feel “right” .. I feel I am doing something that I was born to do .. I no longer have the money I used to have .. but I no longer have the stress that I had to deal with.

I do not have the responsibility of staff or a partner ..  and it has freed me from myself.

I have no idea where this new path I’m on is going to take me … all I know is that it is a journey I’m looking forward to travelling.

The biggest thing I have learned is that sometimes the fear of something happening is actually a lot worse than the actual thing! …   we sometimes just have to take a deep breath, push our shoulders back and march on … one step after another.