If you were my valentine, ah treat ye awfy guid
ah wouldny send you for the coal or to collect the wid
Ah’d wine ye and dine ye .. n gee ye a surprise or two
And Ah widny call ye any worse than a stupid coo
Ah’d treat ye like a princess and no let ye sleep on lumps
Ah might even let you cop a feel o my lady humps
Bit yer not my valentine … and sad as that makes me
It least Ive no got to shave my ligs for any burd to see!
A lesbian Scottish Valentines poem
February 13, 2015
Scottish Valentines
February 13, 2015
No apologies .. written by me to amuse myself!
A Ken ah said ah luved yeh
Ah ken ah said ah luved yeh … and ah did mean every wurd
That was of course before ye turned into a monster of a burd
Ah didny mind you moaning .. in between the sheets
But yer constant bloody nagging got right inside ma heed.
Ah listened to yer voice but no tae what you say’d
An’ eventually ah decided to kick you out ma baid.
Ye didn’t take it lightly, ye took it kinda haird
Ah guess from you this valentines ah’ll no be gettin a caird.
A wee ode to us slimmers for Valentines …
Ah thought ah wid surprise yeh and lose a little weight
For valentines especially, you bein’ my special date
Ah watched every mouthful, measured every cup
But noo my fancy knickers will no bloody well stay up.
I pranced around the kitchen, cooking yer special tea
And ended up showing aw the neighbours far too much of me
So heed ma little warnin’ dinny lose the weight
Especially if you want your knickers to stay up fur yer date
The kindness of people
February 13, 2015
I don’t believe in god … but I believe in the kindness of people (click on where it says POST) … I canny work out how to put it directly in here!


