Brae. A gay woman's tale!

I have been accused of being very “black and white” in the way I live my life and in the decisions I make. This is quite true.

I do not handle “gray” areas of my life well, uncertainty and indecision make me uncomfortable… and I lose my peace of mind.

I am a decisive, get things done type of person and, although not all my decisions, are right, they are always decisions I take responsibility for.

My judgement on many things, had mostly held me in good stead and I have never really doubted myself… but over the last few months things have changed.

Things have happened in my life that I never seen coming, and decisions and choices I have made have not turned out well.

Doubt and confusion are now clouding my thoughts… and my own self confidence is really low.

I am now over thinking and over reacting to things that in the past would have brought a decisive response from me.

It feels a bit like being in no mans land, I can’t seem to move forward and there is no going back.

All of this is taking away my peace of mind and my sleep and I am floundering.

I know I am a strong woman, I know I survived many battles, but this feeling of not being able to judge or decide on things is really draining and I am not dealing with it well at all.

Even when I have been through some dark times, my ability to “just do it” has seen me through… but this ability came from my confidence in my decisions… and, right now, I simply do not trust myself.