I have been accused of being very “black and white” in the way I live my life and in the decisions I make. This is quite true.
I do not handle “gray” areas of my life well, uncertainty and indecision make me uncomfortable… and I lose my peace of mind.
I am a decisive, get things done type of person and, although not all my decisions, are right, they are always decisions I take responsibility for.
My judgement on many things, had mostly held me in good stead and I have never really doubted myself… but over the last few months things have changed.
Things have happened in my life that I never seen coming, and decisions and choices I have made have not turned out well.
Doubt and confusion are now clouding my thoughts… and my own self confidence is really low.
I am now over thinking and over reacting to things that in the past would have brought a decisive response from me.
It feels a bit like being in no mans land, I can’t seem to move forward and there is no going back.
All of this is taking away my peace of mind and my sleep and I am floundering.
I know I am a strong woman, I know I survived many battles, but this feeling of not being able to judge or decide on things is really draining and I am not dealing with it well at all.
Even when I have been through some dark times, my ability to “just do it” has seen me through… but this ability came from my confidence in my decisions… and, right now, I simply do not trust myself.
Jun 16, 2018 @ 05:13:25
Somehow lovely, you need to turn this around and find some peace within yourself. Yes, you have been badly hurt and that takes some getting over, but you are a good person with a kind heart… we all have idiosyncrasies. It doesn’t take away all the good stuff and you really need to focus on your good stuff!! All said with kindness xx
Jun 16, 2018 @ 06:45:15
I know… it’s not just my old relationship though… which I suppose was the catalyst… but since then everything I touch turns out wrong…. and I’m the only common factor.