Image by

Having a crush on someone is no bad thing … it happens, sometimes these crushes last a couple of days .. a couple of weeks or for years!

It is a lovely wee thing to have someone that you look forward to seeing, or to see them appear on Facebook and when you catch their attention .. WOW.. the wee jump of excitement you get is wonderful.

BUT .. we have to remember that a crush is just that, it is in our imagination and not reality… it is not love .. it is not a relationship .. it is not a right to demand someone’s attention or time … it is something in us .. and we have to accept that in most cases the object of our crush does not feel the same way!

A crush that is mutual can grow into something else .. something deeper and something more real but often when we actually get to know the person we have a crush on, our way of thinking towards them changes.   They often turn out to be not the person we imagined they are and so we move on from our crushes easily and with no lasting damage.

Love on the other hand is a completely different matter.  It is not the roses round the door and the romantic expectation that we read in the books – it is more than that, it is a deep care and respect where we want the very best for someone, whether it includes you or not.

We have all had crushes, we have all moved on.  We have all loved, we have all hurt, eventually we all move on.

If we think we have moved on and our first thought and last thought of the day are of that person, or we check our messages and emails in the hope that there is something there from that person, then perhaps we have to admit to ourselves, no matter how hard it is to accept, that we still love that person.

As we grow older we realise what we need in our lives to make us happy .. the type of person that makes a partner is not always the type of person we have a crush on. 

For me a partner is someone who thinks “us” and not “me” … someone who genuinely wants to listen to me and understands that there is more to me than the clown that I often appear to be.

If I give my heart to someone, they have a part of it always .. I don’t do superficial love …. I do not fall in love easily .. It takes someone who can touch my soul, and women like that do not come along often.

I enjoy having a wee crush on someone now and again … but in my heart of hearts I do know when someone is “for me” and when someone “is just a crush” …   

Here is to crushes … the nice little smiles that light up inside of us, even if for a wee while .. enjoy them but recognise them for what they are.