I have been having a rough time lately.  The battle between my head and heart continues and, once again, I lost my peace.

2018 has not been a good year, full of a lot of personal pain that I am still trying to fight my way through… slowly I am getting there, but there are still days when I fight to get out of bed in the morning.  Thankfully, my work makes me get up and get on with it, but sometimes I could shut the door and lock myself away.

I have decided to change a lot in my life, I bought a new mattress and bedding,  sold the Motorhome, I have bought a beautiful caravan that I am delighted with and unexpectedly bought a new car too! … I didn’t intend to, but had a call from the garage where I bought my Qashqai from telling me of a deal on a second hand Nissan X Trail with only 7k miles on the clock.   The monthly payments actually work out at £2 less a month, and it is a better vehicle for towing (and a 4 x 4 which means I can escape the lane when it snows!)… I have also had my living room, hall and bathroom redecorated … and my bedroom and office will be having a facelift in the new year (once I can decided on the colours!).

I know I need to put the hurt and frustration of 2018 behind me … perhaps all these changes will help me find a wee bit of confidence in myself and my ability to see people for who they really are.

I have also decided to concentrate on myself.   This year I have had to deal with lies and cheating, drunkeness and temper tantrums, which were very cruel.   I am not prepared to put up with any of this in my life.

I may have lost my peace for now but I know it will return.   I just need to take care of me and let karma deal with the rest.