Brae. A gay woman's tale!

I was really sorry to read about the death of Tina Turner, not only was she a wonderful singer and entertainers but she was one hell of a woman too! Rising from being an abused wife to becoming a superstar, but more importantly a much loved wife… and a woman respected throughout the world.

As well as Tina Turner, Melissa Etheridge is also one of my heroines, rising from heartache to finding happiness again. I always loved her music and the songs resonated with my heart.

Sadly, I made a bad mistake by playing these songs to my then partner, who, after she had cheated on me, no doubt played the songs to her latest partner.

I was so excited to hear that Melissa Etheridge was coming to play a gig in Scotland, I’m not one for gigs normally as I can’t stand for long periods of time and prefer to be seated (with no-one jumping around in front of me so I can’t see!) …. I bought my ticket for the gig and then had a text from the ex saying “thank you for introducing me to Melissa Etheridge” … I knew then that she and her new partner would be going to the gig. I really couldn’t face that … so I sold my ticket to a friend.

For a long time I couldn’t listen to Melissa Etheridge tracks without getting upset, so I stopped listening. Slowly as I got over the heartache and began to see just who my ex really was, I realised that I had been fooling myself for many years. My ex cheated on past partner(s) … lied and “omitted” the truth to many times. I realise now why she reacted so badly when I asked her questions (in all innocence and with care) …. more the fool me.

It also explains why when it came to being intimate, she ignored my needs (I have arthritis in my hips and back) and thinking about it, in many ways she abused me, all through her own needs, not mine … so much so that becoming intimate was a big stumbling block for me, ending what should be a precious moment by having to ask someone to stop and spoiling the moment afterwards that should be emotionally bonding.

Thankfully I then met Ros, I told her everything about before … and she understood, but she had left an abusive relationship with a woman too … so perhaps it was that that bonded us … I loved Ros in a very different way from my ex … you always knew what Ros was thinking and she wasnt shy of telling me (I loved that about her) … often we clashed, but again I liked that, she was her own woman, not a chameleon who would change to fit the season (or the woman she was with).

I am glad I was by Ros’s side when she battled her cancer … she fought very hard, determined to the last to win her fight … but sadly even with her great strength and determination, she lost. I miss her … although her taste in heavy rock music (often blaring out from her craft room) is NOT something I miss …

Ros chose her own music for her funeral, infact she did everything apart from write her eulogy. I did that for her. The song she picked for reflection … as a message for me … was Yellow by Coldplay … a beautiful song that makes me cry everytime I hear it … but in a good way, full of happy memories and a love that was lost too soon.