Brae. A gay woman's tale!

Well that was a weekend and a half! A great Friday night out with friends, the adapter in my car going on fire, meeting a lovely new friend, fun at the Mutt Hutt, Having to rush my cat Duffy to the vets to hosting a picnic for friends!

it had certainly been exhausting

Next weekend it starts again.., Perth Pride and night in a hotel so we can have a wee drink! I had better catch up on my sleep during the week.

Here is to great friendships… I am very lucky!

Duffys hip is badly dislocated… it was pushed up and forward and was the lump that the vet was worried about… full X-ray done and no internal damage!! He is staying in tonight to make sure leg sling stays in place … but I can pick him up tomorrow… he had to be caged for a few weeks though… but I’m happy… it may be a pain paying out all that money but at least my boy is ok!!

As years go, this is certainly one of the toughest I am battling through.

This morning I had a horrible wake up call to the sound of howling from the living room, where I found my beautiful duffy lying in a pool of urine.

It looks like he has had a traumatic force to his side … one of his back legs is twisted and there is a large swelling in his stomach.

I immediately rang the emergency vet but they need to keep him in to xray and assess the damage that has been done to him.  So far the bill is £900.

He is not insured, I don’t insure my cats, but I do have the money to pay for it, but this was money in my savings that I have other plans for (solicitors fees for the ongoing legal battle with my motorhome).

I don’t want to lose my beautiful wee boy … he is very special … but I know I have to be sensible about how much I can afford to pay to keep him alive … and as it stands it may be a decision that is taken out of my hands when they assess the damage to him anyway.  It is the internal damage they are most worried about … but I won’t know until later what is happening.

I am gutted … I have no idea how much more shit this year is going to fling at me … and I really just feel like disappearing.

I am both a warrior and an explorer. I have been broken, I’ve been lost.

I’ve loved deeply, I’ve loved wrongly.

But I still believe that out there there someone I deserve… and who deserves me.

I have had a car adapter thing for my satnav and mobile for a couple of years.   Last night on my way up to Broughty Ferry, my phone wouldn’t charge … we tried the charger cables into a separate USB port in the car… but still nothing.

On my way out this morning, I tried once more to see if the charger would work (my phone charged perfectly in the house overnight)… when I plugged it into the adapter thingy… smoke started billowing out! … I had to quickly unplug everything, pull it out of the cigarette lighter slot and chuck it out of the window.

I was just glad it happened when I was sitting outside the house, if it had happened on the motorway, there could have been a disaster!

My two chargers in the car have been made unusable by this … but in the bigger of scale of things, I think I got off lightly!

Be careful if you use an adapter … I have another in the motorhome and when I get her back, I will be getting rid of it!

I had a bit of a weird experience on Match last night … A woman, from far down south, started messaging me … at first all was pretty normal, and I am happy to chat away to most people, so I replied.

It was the general sort of chit chat .. when all of a sudden she sent me a message that made me think “what the feck!” …

Seemingly I have “unfinished business” with my ex … and I need to “tell her how I feel”

I was very polite and told her that the “business” was definitely finished and that she knew exactly how I felt when we split and I had no intention of contacting her or going over the same old shit again.

She did get a bit “insistant” with me … to the point I stopped replying to her messages …

There is definitely no unfinished business … my ex made her choice and although, it is no secret, how much I was hurt by her actions, I have moved on and in a way, now see the split as a good thing.  There were too many things about my ex and her life that made me uncomfortable.

The  only thing I can think of as being “unfinished” is that she left a shirt here .. but it fits  me … so I am wearing it LOL

I am looking forward to this weekend, even if it is very full on … tonight I am out in Broughty Ferry with some friends, tomorrow I am meeting the very funny lady I met on Match for a quick coffee, before heading off to the Mutt Hutt with wee sprout, my pal and my mum, who wants to come along to see wee Sprouty having fun!

Sunday, I am having a gathering here at my house … lots of friends coming, some I haven’t seen in a wee while … and somewhere amongst all that, I need to dig out lots of information for my solicitor as the legal action against Sandy Dick starts in earnest!

All in all … I have too much “new business” to look forward to and deal with that I have no time for “old business” that is bankrupt.

I don’t feckin’ believe in Psychics anyway!

I am not sure I really want a refund… I think I just need to learn to make better choices.

I was chatting to friends tonight and I realised that I miss too many warning signs when it comes to affairs of my heart.

I have been fooled much more in recent years… and I have no idea why that is… but I’ve realised that I am not alone in this and that fact is actually quite frightening.

I am tired of wasting my love and emotion on those, that quite frankly, are not deserving of either…. and I am not prepared to be anyone’s quick fix, stepping stone or wee sordid fantasy.

I am worth more than that, and would rather be happy on my own, than put up with anything fake.

The catch on Match

For once I decided to do what I was told,

Took a deep breath and chose to be bold.

A profile I wrote, oh wow, what a catch

And posted the thing on bloody Match.

I chose some pictures, be honest, I’m auld,

No very fit but at least I’m no bald.

I sat back and waited and the likes they came,

From Germany, from France but nothing from hame!

So, I had a wee look, and boy what a shock

Nae teeth, cross eyed and hairy ligs in a frock.

An’ then there wiz a pic of one of my friends!

Then inither and inither … ah wiz soon roon the bends.

But then there was wan, that made me sit up

So I sent her a picture of my cute little pup.

She answered quite quick and told me she was sold,

On ma dug and no me, I was too bloody old!

There is a lesson to be learned from surfing the net

You can say what you want, but it’ll no be what you get.

But I’ve met a guid pal, she has me in hoots,

And she is naebody ah ken, or fae Rubyfruits.

So perhaps my lesson, is to go with the flow,

Meet folk for a coffee that I don’t really know.

I might call her darrrrlin’ or even… ma honey

As long as she buys cake way her ain bloody money.