Sometimes, even with the best of intentions life does not turn out the way we expect it to.

I was reminded of this yesterday after seeing photographs of a very brave woman who sadly lost her fight for life.

In my personal life it is a bit of a bad time, very stressful, to the point that on some mornings I just want to curl up and stay in bed.

I can’t do this .. I’m not made like that.   I may winge and I may moan and sometimes I need a friend to listen to me .. but I am not a quitter, quite the opposite.

I know this from a couple of dark times previously in my life.  I really thought my life, or my life as I knew it, was over, but never once did I lie down and give in.  Maybe I should have, maybe I fought too long but that is who I am, and always will be.

I am not a woman who likes to be defeated, never have been… those that know of my hockey past will vouch for that *smile*, but sometimes you have to let go.

There is a huge difference between letting go and giving up.   You give up when you have no heart left for a fight, you let go when you know it is the right thing to do.

I have recently been asked to put a friendship “on hold” but on reflection, a friendship that has to go “on hold” is no friendship at all.

I know lots of people, I have lots of friends but I have a small close circle of  lovely friends who I would do anything for and I know they would do anything for me.   I do not have to name them, they know, as I know.   They have listened to me lately, let me get my frustration out and have contacted me frequently just to make sure I am ok.    I am not the type that often “needs” someone, but occassionally when the waves are washing over me I need a friend to rescue me.

It is at times like this in your life that you realise what friendship is. We have all had fairweather friends in our lives, good fun for a little while, but unreliable, unrepentant and forever letting you down.   These friends are sometimes a welcome break in our lives, but they do not last the trials of understanding, normality and friendship.  They live a dream, a fantasy, always looking for something else to keep them from being bored.

For me it is time to let go of people who cannot stand by me in my dark times and only want me in my good times when I can do something for them.

And that is what I am doing.    ‘Im taking my finger off HOLD and pressing END.

Good luck, good wishes, goodbye.