A fantastic weekend!

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I have just had the most fantastic weekend.. doing something that initially thought would be “a bit different” .. I had no idea how much I was going to enjoy it!10401989_10152612309619182_1196272076294620401_n (1)

It was a weekend of learning to drum on Djembe drums … an African type of drum that you hold between your legs.

Not only did we learn different rhythms but we were also taught a couple of African songs … and with 20 people in a yurt (because of the torrential rain) the sound was just fantastic.

I really never expected to enjoy it so much .. infact I was only planning to go yesterday but went back today .. and it was a 40 mile drive to get there!

The ladies who were training us .. Sharon and Nikki actually live in Somerset .. but travel around during the summer doing various festivals and parties… this is a link to their website   ORGANIC RHYTHM … check it out … it really will open your eyes!




Why it is good to fail …

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I am a bit of a born fighter.   I fight for what I believe in.   acceptanceI fight for reasons that are important to me.

I have been guilty in the past of fighting too hard … and too long for things that I should have let go off long before.

I fought to keep my businesses alive .. to the detriment of my health and my peace .. I have fought to keep relationships and friendships until I realised that when you are fighting to keep things going beyond the normal realms of “making an effort” then you have to just walk away.

At times the perceived failure of my actions has caused me pain … but pain that is recoverable from .. in truth I never failed .. I tried, I fought.. I just didn’t succeed.

All of my past has brought me to where I am now.    I have a life that makes me happy.   I have lost the stress that I put on myself because of what others expected of me.   Now I just live my life in the way I want to.    I take care of me.

I share my emotional attachments with a few close friends, I have no-one relying on me to make them happy .. and play on my guilt.

This gift that I found for myself has given me freedom.  OK I do not have a lot of money but I survive .. and I sit here sometimes looking around me .. thinking about my life and think .. I am happy .. I am truly at peace.

For all my faults, and believe me, I have a few! .. I know I am honest, loyal and kind (sometimes too much!) … These are my strengths … and also my weaknesses … but that is who I am and that is who I will remain.

I have been trying to salvage a friendship recently .. until I realised I was the only one trying to do this … so .. I am letting it go .. sometimes “truth” as we see it is not the same between two people. I like to think I have always been constant with mine… but the same cannot be said in return.

It is time to let the final “irk” in my life go .. I have no reason to feel guilty .. I was reminded of this the other week when a friend of many years said to me  “it is great that you had so many friends standing beside you through your darkest time” … and that is true.   Until I realised who wasn’t there.

Actions do speak louder than words.   I have always believed that .. now it is the time to learn it.

I tried.. I did not succeed.   I can hold my head up.

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