This is a happy and sad post all in one.

Yesterday I took the decision to block two people who no longer have a part in my life.

The first was a new “friend”, who tried to keep me as a dark little secret and who I know had lied to others about our “friendship”.

The second was my ex … as many of my friends know, I was deeply hurt by her actions, but after a few months of hurting and anger, we did seem to find our balance … I realised that I did not want her back … or, at the moment, have a “real life” friendship with her, simply because I would have found it difficult.

We did seem to fall into an online friendship, mostly just by messages, until I suddenly realised I was being open and honest about my life but in return I was receiving just a few words in reply.

I had  no idea if I was just being a bit sensitive … so I asked her how she was … no reply…

The weird thing is, it was her wish for us to remain friends … not mine … and it took a lot of soul searching on my part to be able to even have any  contact with her… but I realised that no matter how badly it ended and how hurt I was … during our time together, she made me happy … and so I thought I would swallow my pride and have some contact with her.

It now seems I was wrong to believe she wanted friendship and I find that quite sad.

She was the major part of my life, we shared a lot together and done a lot together and when we split I was lost for a lot of months … one day I thought I was in a happy and settled relationship and the next, nothing.

Obviously, having a new girlfriend makes me less important in her life, which is understandable … but to walk away after hurting me so much, wanting friendship and then not, seems just another way to try to hurt me… but now, instead of being hurt, I just think “oh well … your loss” …

I wish both the above people all the best in life … in many ways I still miss them both .. but I also feel sorry for them both…. however, I have my boundaries … and both broke them and I realise that I was not meant to be part of their lives, not because of my actions, but because of theirs.

I guess we all have different morals and standards … and to be honest, I have enough fantastic friends, without having to chase others who have no respect for me.

Definitely time to close the door to the past.