Brae. A gay woman's tale!

Today I took Alice Alice over the Murray Caravans at Airth for them to have a wee look at … they were horrified at what they found … the vehicle is definitely unroadworthy and too much work for them to be able to do.

They sent me along to Stirling to see a specialist Welder at One Stop Motor Engineering, who after having a look, told me that it was a job that was too big even for him … he is disgusted that it ever passed it’s MOT and confirmed it is unsafe to drive…. and told me to go straight to The Village Cars in Saline and demand my money back.

I drove straight there … surprise, surprise Sandy Dick was nowhere to be seen but I did speak to “Stevie” who claims that he just “works there” … I have stopped any pretence of being civil now … and told him straight that I knew the garage was a partnership and were also in cahoots with Cowdenbeath Auto Co Ltd which has changed it’s name to Fife Vans and Trucks Limited  (they have only changed name … still same company).

I have discovered two other people who bought cars from The Village Cars in Saline, who had MOT certificates from Cowdenbeath Auto Co Ltd … who both had cars that were unroadworthy.

I explained very clearly, and very firmly that Sandy Dick or any other business partner had until the end of the week to come back to me to offer me my money back or, as well as legal action, I would take Alice Alice up there … park her in front of their gates, with signs all over the inside warning people against buying there.

I also offered them the chance to give me another motorhome in exchange … but one that I will have checked out before accepting.

And I will keep to my promise.   I am very angry …. so angry I am calm.   That is not a good sign.

I shall wait until the end of the week to see if there is any response .. if not … Alice Alice will be dumped outside their gates, locked, with huge signs inside… and I will not move her until I have the money in my pocket, whether it be directly or two years down the line through the courts.

The bastards have tried my patience once too often … time to take action.

Some photos of just some of the work needing done …

Over the past couple of weeks I have struggled a wee bit with my feelings and thoughts again.

Normally I just shut myself away and ponder, and I often wonder if anyone else thinks as deeply as me, or feels the same way I do.

I know this year has not been the easiest for me … I’ve lost things I didn’t want to lose and my dream to restart a new life by the purchase of my motorhome, has turned into a nightmare that I am stuck in.

Recently my back and leg have really been giving me trouble and my sleep pattern is all over the place… mostly I just feel tired all the time.

I have made a real effort to go out and meet friends, and I have surprised myself by really enjoying myself each time… but still there is a sadness in me that I can’t seem to shake.

I don’t know why it won’t leave me … I have accepted my ex fell out of love with me and met someone she would rather be with … and even though it was a huge slap to the face, and the hurt and pain took a while to get over, I do understand how difficult it must have been for her to be with me, when she preferred to be with someone else.   In the past, I have been in that situation myself, and if truth be known, if the situation was reversed,  I would have done exactly the same thing as she did.

My wee foray into dating, did not turn out well.   There were too many secrets and strange circumstances that I just could not deal with, no matter how much I tried to.  I gave more chances than I normally would, but in the end I found the whole thing far too problematic for me to deal with… but it did give me a wee bit of brightness into my life that just seems so “grey” at the moment

The motorhome fiasco hasn’t helped.   Even though I am doing everything by  the book, as advised by Citizens Advice, I am finding the whole process too slow and useless and I am just getting more and more frustrated with it all.

I now really doubt my own judgement.   I don’t seem to see what is right in front of me and I am feel a bit stupid about a lot of things… and just wish I had something to look forward to, everything just seems to be a circle of day to day stuff … and I’m tired of it.

I was talking to one of my good pals on the phone last night, who has known me for a lot of years and she said to me “you  trust too much and think you can fix people”… maybe she is right and perhaps that explains why I find myself in situations that only end up hurting me.

I know that I am a strong woman. I am the sort of person who “get’s things done” … but sometimes I am too strong for my own good. I am just as vulnerable as everyone else but  I rarely ask for help, I rarely ask to be held …  that is not to say I do not need these things.   I do.  I just don’t always know how to ask for them… and I don’t seem to be able to meet someone who understands this.

I have wonderful friends, who are always there for me, whether this be in real life or online, but sometimes, all I want is silence, to be held and to feel at peace.

I am not sure if admitting this makes me strong or weak, I don’t care to be honest … today is another day, and I will just get on with it.  I have no other choice.