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More than a number….

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You never forget your army number.

You never forget the friends and the good times you shared.

You never forget the pride of wearing the uniform and the pledge to the Queen and country.

You walk with pride and respect on remembrance day.

You read the names of the walls of the National Arboretum and fill with tears at the thought of the lives lost and the sacrifice given by all the services.

You do not forget.  Neither you should.

So why did more service  personnel  and veterans die by suicide in 2012 than were killed in action.

Because the Government forgot.

Because the MOD abandoned them.

Because in the end they did not have a name, they were just a number.

“Broken by Battle” shown on television tonight highlighted the tragic and unbelievable stories of veterans who took their own lives due to PTSD.     It was a shocking and disturbing program and one that made me feel ashamed.

Once someone leaves the army they are no longer counted in MOD figures for PTSD or suicide.   They are the shadow army, the shadowy figures that the MOD and the Forces do not want to take responsibility for.

These people have faced dangers and seen things that I not would wish on my worst enemy to see.

Yet they are not counted on official figures.    They do not matter.

Drug users get so much help from the Government and the NHS … yet ex soldiers struggle to be heard.   Some of them cannot get treatment, some of them cannot admit their fears and their depression because they have been taught to show no weakness.

There is something vile in our society and I am ashamed.

Standing on the doorstep in the rain …

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Melissa Etheridge … this is my mood today … she sings it much more eloquently than I can write …

The act of kindness

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Kindness should never be misinterpreted, never abused and certainly never demanded.

I know that I am a kind person, I also know that this is something I inherited from my parents, both of who are, and were, wonderful kind and funny people.

I have met many kind people in my life, who have touched my heart with their kindness towards me, simple things, sometimes from complete strangers who took the time to care for someone in their own unique way.

I know I am far from perfect, I have no wish to be perfect but I do know that I am kind and I do know that mostly this is taken in the way it is meant.

Kindness really costs nothing.   The most random act of kindness towards me was from an old woman I met one day at Charlestown harbour.    I had gone there to try to clear my mind and found myself crying.    This woman came and sat beside me and for a while said nothing as I tried to stop the tears.  

Eventually she turned to me and started to chat about how beautiful the view was and how special a place it was for her as she visited it often with her husband who had recently died.

She turned to me, touched my hand and simply said “you are not alone”.

A simple and compassionate gesture but a wonderful gift that I have not forgotten.

Be kind.

 

 

 

Please click here to sign the petition.

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Please click here to sign the petition.

I would appreciate if anyone reading this blog can do me a wee favour.

There is a forest in the Highlands of Scotland at Achnacarry near Spean Bridge that holds the “Fairy Forest” .. it is a magical place, full of beautiful items that people leave as memories towards loved ones.     

Last year I helped organise a reunion for the Women of the ATS/WRAC (Army) and we dedicated a tree in honour of the women of the forces who have lost their lives in action or through illness, age etc.

The forest is now under threat and I would love to do a wee bit to try to save it … I would appreciate if you could take the time and sign the petition.  

Thank you

Not you ….

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Not you ....

You know …

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You know, not by the words, nor by the actions.   

You know in the second your eyes meet and all pain and anguish disappear.

That moment, that split second, when your soul is truly naked

And your heart is open again.

You know.

Love

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Love is not a decision.   It is not planned, it is not a choice.  It just is.

This has been a very special weekend.  Andy Murray winning Wimbledon and the beautiful weather has made it a weekend for everyone to remember with a happy heart and a smile.

For a few of us it will be special for a very different reason.   The celebration of Terri and Gillian’s Civil Partnership.

It is a wonderful thing to see love, to see two people, perfectly matched who are happy in their unity and prepared to stand by each other through the good and the bad times and face life with all it’s challenges face on and together.

The greatest feeling in the world is knowing you love and you are loved back in a pure and honest way.   The peace of heart and mind that this gives give the power to face any hardship.

I hope for Terri and Gillian that their hardships are few and their love always shines.  

And I think I speak for everyone who had the pleasure of attending Walkerburn at the weekend when I say that I am so happy that you found each other.    

True love is a rare and beautiful thing, I am glad you have found it.

 

When you throw …

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Excellent wee poem from Alexkellyoc

Listen …

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Listen ...

What do you fear?

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We all have fears.

Sometimes they are simple, spiders, mice etc …. sometimes they are more complicated… rejection, love, death etc.

One thing is sure whatever our fear is we cannot allow to paralyse us, to stop us from trying and reaching for what we want but often we do, too scared to confront our fears close up.

We are guaranteed very little in life but we will all fail at one time, we will all love and face rejection and we certainly will die but if we live our lives scared of any of these then we will not really live at all.

My life has been full of great successes and great failures, some brilliant happy times and some times when I thought I would  never feel anything again.  I have achieved lots and lost everything and had to start again and somehow through it all I have found a balance now that I know I need.

I still have fears, mostly to do with losing my peace but I have managed to stop thinking “what if” … now I will act on what happens when it happens and not just worry about it because worry and guilt paralyse me .. that I do know!

Physical fears and challenges are often much easier to overcome than the mental fears we have.   We are often our own worst enemy but would rather suffer from them than take the first step towards overcoming them because of the vicious circle we create in our own head.

In reality there is nothing for us to fear, apart from ourselves.   We should try to remember that.

 

 

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