A story, a chapter, a paragraph… a sentence.
In the end we will all be one of these to someone.
Boston – will we ever know the reason why?
April 19, 2013
regular Bomber, Boston, tragedy Leave a comment
The sad events of last Monday will be remembered across the world forever.
It was a scene of celebration for those runners who would never be superstars but ran for self fulfillment or for charity, and their supporters, who encouraged and cheered the tired legs and weary minds towards the finishing line.
In a second the scene changed. The bloodied and the dead lay on the ground, the runners confused ran on, stopped, ran back, the scene was chaos. A minute later a second explosion rang out. This was not a bomb attack for attention, this was an attack to maim and kill.
The culprits are brothers from the old Russia, who have lived in the USA for many years. One is already dead, and at the time of writing, the other is on the run.
It is likely he will not be taken alive, either through his own hands, or by a quick bullet from the police.
We will maybe never know what made these 2 young men turn against a country that offered them the freedom and the opportunity that they had never had before. What mad dream gave them the idea to turn against America, and it’s people, young and old and murder.
I doubt we will ever know. Terrorism by individuals is the hardest to defend against, you cannot spot your enemy, a sane person cannot understand a madman.
I hope the victims of the Boston tragedy learn to live with this, to find a reason in their lives to be eventually thankful for the pain and tragedy that they are going through and I wish the families who have lost part of their souls the peace to one day forgive themselves for the guilt and loss they will suffering.
I wish you peace now Boston.
You fight and then fight some more …
April 18, 2013
regular fight, succeed, try Leave a comment
Sometimes we think we have given all we can.
Sometimes the wall we run into seems unbreakable, impenetrable.
Sometimes it the easy option is to give up, forget.
.. but there is always that little thing inside that says keep going, don’t give up …
I will fight, I will take a beating, but if I lose .. it will not be for the lack of trying.
I will do this because I owe you .. and I will honour that as best I can.
A cynic or not as the case may be….
April 14, 2013
regular cynic, lesbian, woman 5 Comments
I have always thought I was a bit cynical about love these days. I think most women of “a certain age” reach this point in life when they decide they are better off being happy on their own than unhappy in a relationship that doesn’t feel right.
Well … the unthinkable has happened … I have fallen in love. I am in love with a woman who makes me laugh, frustrates me, annoys me and who sometimes needs a good kick up the arse. A woman who loves her friends, loves socialising, loves time on her own, sometimes is a little inappropriate and sometimes a bit grumpy and impatient. A clown, a deep thinker, a woman who takes no shit but sometimes needs to learn to keep her mouth shut. A woman who hates liars and will stand and fight her corner to the very end. A woman who likes to give and loves to see other people smile. A woman who knows she is not perfect and has no wish to be, a woman who suffers from guilt and responsibility and needs someone who can make her realise that she cannot always fix things or people. A woman who knows that she will not always win, but will never give up. A woman who accepts that you cannot always get what (or who!) you want … but is happy to tell them she loves them, a woman who accepts that the “one that got away” actually gave her a great gift that she can never repay… (this is NOT referring to any ex relationship!)
It has taken me a long, long time to find this woman … I have no intention of letting her go .. but I know I am willing to share her with someone just like her …. a strange thing to say .. no, not really … the woman I love is me. I’m just glad I have found her.
Sisters in Arms
April 9, 2013
Army stories, regular Army, WRAC 6 Comments
There are times in your life that will stay with you forever.
Last weekend was one of them.
Over 80 ex WRAC women met up in Fort William to celebrate their time in the army and to remember friends and colleagues who have left to march in the great parade square above.
The years fell away as we celebrated friendships, old and new, danced like we were all 30 years younger and partied like tomorrow would never come. We became one again, the celebrated sisterhood of women that join together in comradeship that we cannot explain to those who have never served in the forces.
Our most poignant moment was the tree ceremony, where we dedicated a tree to our comrades and our memories of our past. The words spoken by Maggie Purkis brought a tear to everyone’s eye as we stood in the most beautiful forest, over looking a loch and onto the grandeur of Ben Nevis.
It is memory that united us all, the ladies of the ATS and WRAC … the Sisters in Arms
Exploding gun
March 31, 2013
There have been a few lies knocking around about me … again .. *raising eyes and tutting* … fortunately this time, instead of being shocked, I laughed … and so has everyone else that I told about “the lies” … this time the lies will not hurt me as really they aren’t all that unexpected.
It seems that this time the bullet that was fired towards me has stuck in the chamber … which will cause the gun to explode in someone’s face …. and sadly, this is of someone’s own making … who loaded and fired all by herself ….
The biggest question out of all is this is why?? … I have no friggin idea! – embarrassment, drama, pity .. what??
I am 52 years old .. I have had enough drama and lies in my life to do me a lifetime .. if you need to lie, then go ahead, feel free.. but please do NOT use me in your lies to justify whatever the hell you feel you need to justify!!
I was just going to do nothing about it .. but I am a stickler for honesty .. I have no time in my life for lies or liars … I do not want to be involved in your lies … can you understand that .. just stop…. take a deep breath .. tell the truth … it is a hell of a lot easier than trying to remember the lies that you tell and what is so bad about the truth? Nothing .. not a damn thing.
A reflection of you …
March 30, 2013
They say that your dog’s behaviour and character is a reflection of you ..
I have the sweetest, most good natured dog … who takes no shit from other dogs …
I certainly don’t take shit … not sure Im the sweetest or that good natured though LOL
Contentment
March 28, 2013
regular contentment, lesbian, peace 2 Comments
I do not think I understood the meaning of contentment when I was younger. There was always something to aim for, people to see or a woman to conquer!
These days things are very different, maybe I have experienced enough good AND bad times in my life to understand it .. or maybe I have just grown weary of the drama and the arguments, I don’t know but right now I am contented… I am happy, relaxed, peaceful and enjoying myself.
As I look back and remember what was important to me when I was younger, success, money, love .. I realise that these still hold true but in a very different way.
Success is now being happy with my life, money is having enough to get me from one pay day to another but able to not worry too much, love.. well, love is all about learning to love yourself, the good and the bad.
I can’t say I “practice” contentment .. or I looked for it, it just sort of happened.
I have achieved and gained lots in my life. I have also lost everything I worked all my life for and had to start again.. and I discovered the actual starting again was much less than the worry about having to do it.. It gave me a different perspective and although I do, from time to time, lose my peace and my contentment, I know it is lurking out there waiting for me. Sometimes I just have to wait for it to return.
Our chains
March 24, 2013
No-one in this world is perfect. No-one in this world is always right.
Truth is much the same and usually found somewhere between the two sides of every argument,
The advantage of truth (or our truth as we see it!) is that it unchains us … it helps us to accept and move on. No matter how hard the truth is .. it is better than trying to fool others or even worse, ourselves;
By accepting the truth, no matter how hard to accept, leaves us free, fresh and with nothing to hide.
The disadvantages of deceiving ourselves and others are the chains that it brings on us .. if you cheat a partner and your friends know .. how can you then let these people meet?
If you cheat a partner in the first place you are building a relationship built on sand, Every storm, every tremor, every person walking past will bring uncertainty and danger.
That is not being free.
That is being in chains.
The truth always comes out .. and we should remember that.
The chains that bind us are always the chains of our own making …
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 