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Attitude

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Over the past couple of weeks I have been have, at times, found it hard to keep my temper and my mouth shut.  Sometimes I have had to take a very deep breath (or five).   Then, when I actually got round to thinking about things, I realised that I was letting other people dictate how I felt.   I have made the choice NOT to allow them to do this.  What they do and how they see things in their life does not have to effect me. 

I thought I would share this quote with you… there seems to be a few people out there who need to learn it! LOL

“Attitude

 The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.  It will make or break a company… a church … a home.

 The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.   We cannot change our past … we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.   The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have, and that is our attitude….

 I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.   And so it is with you….We are in charge of our attitude.”

 Charles Swindoll

Now …

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Now

Yesterday, I thought of you.

For a moment you filled me with

a blindness I couldn’t explain.

I felt you within me, your touch,

your smile, your pain.

Today, I cared for you with a

rooted feeling of love, friendship

and trust.

I pitied you for wasted months,

worry and tears.

Tomorrow, I’ll forget what went before,

I’ll smile as a friend, talk

As a friend and care as a friend.

As I should always have done,

Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Hassle free zone

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Right… I’ve had enough.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try some people just cannot take NO for an answer.

I’m sick and tired of being understanding and caring and frankly I’ve had enough.

People try to push buttons in all sorts of ways, by trying to make you feel guilty/sorry/sad etc… well bugger it!

Sometimes being honest and saying what you think isn’t always the best way to go .. but it is the way I am.. and the way I will continue to be.

If you don’t like it.. fine .. that is not my problem.

Now .. accept what is, or move on.   Stop bugging me.   It will have the opposite effect to what you want!

What the heck is wrong with me?

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There is something wrong with me I feel it!

I must be ill….. I mean it!

My stomachs full of butterflys, my legs have gone all weak..

As we say in Scotland “ah mist be bliddy seek”

My mouth keeps arching upwards, I canny control my feet

My ass is feeling restless, it keeps wiggling on my seat!

My head is full of nonsense, its too hard to concentrate

I want to hug the universe, do you thinks its something I ate?

I have a tingly feeling from my head to my big toe

What the heck is wrong with me.. does anybody know?

I feeling awfy happy, am I going to faint, perchance?

Ah better no take any chances .. I’ll call an ambulance

Thoughts ….

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Another oldie…

Thoughts

I have been thinking today
about me
about you

I have been remembering
how close I felt
when you held me,
and how hard it was
when you turned away.

I loved you for your spirit

I wanted you for your mind.

I ached to touch you.

I ached for you to touch me.

I wanted you to want me.

I needed you to need me.

I wanted you to remember
why you wanted me,
and how it felt
when I was in your arms
And turned to you

I have been thinking today
about you
about me.

This moment

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We lie

Stroking, touching, spent.

Hearing the rain on the window, the wind in the trees, a different world away

We lie

In our world, in calm peace, our silence speaking the words we cannot yet say.

You move, your body close and hot against me, your lips gently touching my neck.

We lie

Lost in the memory of our exploration, of our discovery of our cries.

Remembering the taste, the sounds, when we sought and reached and fell

We lie

Complete, in silence,

This moment I want to keep forever

We lie

Dusk

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Dusk

In the darkness of my room
with no company to be kind,
the stirring again begins
in the recess of my mind.

At first a memory,
from way down deep
that will once again deny me
from my right to sleep.
And then the pain, from way inside,
that rips apart
my soul,

my pride.

The physical need
to hold on tight
to someone close,
all through the night.

The dark, black thoughts,
cruel and bleak,

punishing me,

For being so weak.

And knowing that
It’s all my fault
I’m locked up tight
In this living vault.
Searching for me
And failing to find,
Because of the nightmare
Living in my mind

The Mirror

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I have been where you have been

I have seen what you have seen

I have walked the path and lost my way

I have cried all night to the break of day

I have lost everything as my world fell apart

I have had blows to my pride and broken heart

I have held on too long and let go too soon

I have sung in the rain and danced with the moon

I have kissed with passion and dreamt in vain

I have taken the hits and smiled through the pain

I have convinced myself that I am right

I have struggled to survive my longest night

I have loved to the full and a fool it made me

I have wore my heart on my sleeve for all to see

I have taken the blows and sometimes I fell

I have picked myself up so no-one could tell

I have made my own choices and made my own bed

I have gone my own way and never been led

I have lost to my demons and angels too

I know how it feels, because I am you.

You are my weakness

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You are my weakness,

my desire.

The smile on my face, the source of my fire.

The rebirth of my want.

Filling my head.

The drama of fantasy to be played out in bed.

The air that I breathe

As I start to live

And the source of my doubt of how much to give.

My soul is the devils

Wicked and wild.

My body is yours and I am beguiled

My heart is still mine

But as I start to live,

It is a dangerous thing, but mine to give.

You are my weakness,

My desire.

The smile on my face, the source of my fire.

Lovers Dawn

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Lovers Dawn

I awake slowly, listening to you breathing softly beside me.

I watch as you stir in the dusky light of dawn, your body outlined in the light, slowly moving in rhythm as you sleep on.

My hand reaches out to touch you, softly, gently and you stir again, slowly, a slow realisation of my touch, warm against your cool skin.

You move towards me, your head on my chest, your hands gripping softly at the small of my back, where the touch of your lips still lingers.

My hand moves of its own accord, slowly, skimming your skin.

You move again, open, ready for my touch.

Slowly my hand finds you, gently, softly, slowly I touch you, listening to your soft breath rising and falling, quickening with the soft touch I lay upon you.

You move again, raising your hips, a silent plea for more.  I wait,  I continue my slow touch, hearing your breath quicken, your hips move gently but more urgently.

I give in, I push in,  I hear a soft cry and I continue my slow gentle rhythm inside you.

Feeling your heat, feeling you slip between my fingers..

You move urgently now, quicker, harder and my fingers matching your rhythm, your urgency.

Your skin is hot now, your grasp on me tighter, pulling me closer to you.

A small cry, a shudder that ripples through your body and mine.

Your lips find my mouth,  a soft gentle kiss of confirmation.

You turn, your back to me now, pushing back for the touch of me against you.

I lie, listening to you breathing softly beside me.

I watch as you fall back into your peaceful slumber, your body glowing in the light,

Slowly moving in rhythm as you sleep on.

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