I have been neglecting my poor wee blog lately … but with good reason .. I am in the middle of designing a new blog to go with my new career as a Celebrant (a WHAT??? I hear you cry!) … well basically I can conduct Marriage and Civil Partnership Ceremonies … and soon I will also be able to conduct funerals … Im not a Humanist .. I do not belong to any religion .. I just think that people should be have the right to celebrate their life events in a way that is special to them! …. My blog/website (it is doubling up as both) is not finished yet … but have a wee look … and if you know of anyone who might need my services .. let me know *smile*
My “other” blog
September 5, 2013
regular celebrant, civil partnership, funeral, humanist, marriage 1 Comment
It’s not always easy
September 1, 2013
It’s not always easy
To give away my heart.
The fear of the pain if you hand me it back.
But you have it in your hands
Maybe one day I will let you know
it IS all about me!!!
September 1, 2013
I have no excuses. No-one to blame. It is up to me.
I have had a month of great change in my life. From closing the business, becoming unemployed and starting off a new career as a Celebrant.
It takes time to work out what you want, what makes you happy and what you need in life. It took me over two years to figure it all out, perhaps I haven’t figured it all out yet but I know that I am definitely well along my way.
I have my new career, I have stopped smoking (although sometimes I could still kill for a ciggie!) and the next part is the weight/health thing … I am planning to start cycling, it doesn’t bother my back so much as walking and I am hoping that if I lose weight my back problems will ease up anyway!
Whether this new life and career I am trying to make for myself works is down to me… no-one else, just me.. so for once in my life I am going to say “it IS all about me!” .. and get on and sort it!
The miracles you do
August 28, 2013
My fear of Glasgow
August 25, 2013
regular coward, fear, Glasgow 4 Comments
I am off to Glasgow later today for a couple of nights. I have to go because I am on a course for my Celebrancy training but I really dislike Glasgow.. well, dislike is not the right word .. more “fear”…
I used to love Glasgow .. I loved the vibrancy of the clubs, the stonework of the tenements, the history and the humour of the people. I suppose I still do but I do have an underlying fear of Glasgow.
I have visited Glasgow a handful of times mostly during the day but I have only been “out” in Glasgow a couple of times over the last 15 years because of one incident that took place when I was out with my pal Jen clubbing one night.
We had stopped off for a couple of drinks (and I mean two) in a pub before hitting the clubs. It was not long after we arrived in the first club that I had my drink spiked.
Thankfully due to Jen’s diligence nothing bad happened, apart from me having my money stolen.
Jen did manage to get me back to the hotel (ironically the same hotel I am staying in tonight and tomorrow!) … and get me into my bed. She sat over me until I suddenly “came round” … clear as a bell with no memory of the club or getting back to the hotel.
Jen said she realised there was something wrong when she said to me in the taxi back “do you want some chips” and I said “No” (the people who know me in real life will realise how much of an impossibility this seems!)
I have never been this “out of control” before and never want to be again. I was lucky that Jen noticed something was wrong (although I do think that what happened to me stopped her from pulling that night!! she probably hasn’t forgiven me for that!!).
I know it’s silly.. I know my brain tells me not to be stupid .. but it is a fear, a genuine fear that I have .. like some people are scared of spiders or mice … for me it’s Glasgow …
Today I will take a deep breath and face my fear (although I will not be visiting any pubs or clubs!) .. I think taking the first step to finding my confidence again with Glasgow is something I need to do and in a way I want to do… I am fed up making excuses for not going out with my friends all because I am a big fat coward!
The right direction
August 23, 2013
It has been a funny few weeks so far since we shut down our business.
A time of reflection, regret, relief and excitement. An end of an era but the start of a new chapter and a time when I realised that there is no use in worrying over the past. It has happened, it has gone .. I cannot go back and change anything and even if I could, I am not sure I would.
This is the new dawn for me, A second chance at life and getting it right .. which I know is something that not everyone is lucky enough to have, so I will grab it, hug it tight and treasure this rare opportunity.
This week has mainly been about the financial and legal side of my new business. I have had a meeting with Business Gateway and have made numerous calls regarding grants and training investments, which have all been very positive. I have arranged a meeting with a possible bank for the new business account and found out that as I am ex forces I may be eligible for additional grants too!! … here’s hoping!!
I have been working today on financial forecasts … it took me a while as finance is NOT one of my strong points, but eventually it all came together and it made me realise that what an opportunity I have for a fantastic work/life balance.
I may have no money, I may have a social life that will be practically non existent for the next few months but what I do have again is a passion and an excitement for the future.
I am off to Glasgow on Sunday ready for my course next week …. I can’t wait!!
Insult
August 20, 2013
I was insulted last night.
People judge others for all sorts of reasons.
I am in a very good place in my life, I have my peace, I am happy, I am me, imperfections and all .. and I’m ok with all of it. I realised last night that I was not angry at the insult .. I felt pity… I have been lied about before .. and I have allowed myself to get angry about it … until I realised that insults and lies say more about the other person than it does about me.
I hope that one day you find your peace. I hope that one day you will realise that to judge someone on the “false standards” you have is a fools game.
I am also really sorry I have seen this side of you. I really didn’t expect it.
Simply beautiful
August 19, 2013
Published on 6 May 2013
From the new album by Ólafur Arnalds, “For Now I Am Winter”:
iTunes: http://smarturl.it/OAiTunes
Amazon: http://smarturl.it/OAamazon
Vinyl: http://smarturl.it/Oavinyl
Composer: Ólafur Arnalds
Director: Harald Haraldsson
Producer: Wonwei
Art Director: Erik Parr
Cinematographer: Árni Filippusson
1st AC: Steini Magnússon
Gaffer: Högni Marzellius Þórðarson
Lights: Sigurður Már Davíðsson
Styling: Hulda Halldóra Tryggvadóttir
Actor: Kormákur Krummi Guðmundsson
Open your ears, your eyes, your mind and your heart …. this is simply beautiful!
Special thanks: Sagafilm, Luxor, Hreysti, Hjalti Harðarson
Music video by Ólafur Arnalds performing Only The Winds. (C) 2013 Mercury Classics, a Division of Decca Music Group Limited
Almost there ….
August 18, 2013
I’ve come close a few times.
I will always believe I’m almost there.
Simple things …
August 17, 2013
regular back pain, spasm 1 Comment
I only wanted to move the printer and the small cabinet it sits on a couple of inches .. It isnt particularly heavy … but I think it may have been the angle I was bending over at …. whatever .. my lower back has gone into a spasm.
It is not a major spasm (thankfully!) .. but painful enough to make walking, sitting and lying painful and difficult … there is just no comfortable position!
It has been a couple of years since I had a spasm this bad … it is annoying, frustrating and makes me swear …. I can’t even have a ciggie because I have given up and have none in the house .. and can’t have a drink because of the pain killers… and can’t have a back massage because I’m bliddy single! LOL
… I have my grumpy chicken face on …. I am due to be going to a party tonight … I am hoping the pain eases off a bit … it had better!!!
Grump, winge, moan, whinnnnnneeeeeeeee
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 