Well .. I’ve decided to get back in the saddle (as it were!) and join a couple of online dating sites.
I was taking some time out .. and have found myself getting less and less inclined to meet someone .. I have become lazy, making excuses that my life is too busy etc etc …. when in reality I just could not be bothered with it all.
I had a friend come round last night and over a few cups of tea (honest .. no alcohol was involved) we both seemed to be in exactly the same place .. happy with our lives, pressures of work and in no hurry to meet anyone.
I am a bit cynical about a relationship now .. and I know that I am going to have to do a pretty big mind shift if and when I do meet someone. However, I think I am prepared to that for the right woman … easy to say, I know and I think I must be infuriating to date as I do not fall in love easily and until I do I am not particularly romantic, kind yes .. romantic no.
I know exactly what I want and maybe I am too much of stickler to the criteria .. but I have compromised on what I wanted before and it didn’t work … I do not want to do that again.
What I want is a woman who is independent, a woman who has a life and would not rely on me for her happiness, a woman who is happy to compromise at times and who can show me her love rather than just mouth the words. She has to be kind, an animal lover and not to expect me to do all the running around. I simply won’t.
Most of all, she has to make me laugh, give me peace and understand that sometimes I have to have time on my own to recharge my batteries and my brain. Someone who will not make great demands on me and who wants to walk beside me as an equal, not to be mothered or cared for. I also do not want a family. If someone has grown children, great .. but there is no way I want to raise a child when I am in retirement.
Too much to ask for .. probably … but I will be happier on my own than to compromise any of this.
Let’s see …. but don’t go buying a hat yet ….
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 