“You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.”
―Tom Hiddleston
The journey we travel is rarely easy … we stumble, we fall, we get lost. Sometimes we get hurt. But we have 2 choices .. stay where we are .. existing in our comfort zone, or we just keep going .. at our own pace, in our own time.
Over the past 3 years I have been on a journey .. at times it has been hard to see the way ahead and I have fallen and lost my way a few times.
Sometimes the tunnel has been so dark and so long that I never thought I would get to the end of it … but I have…
I am not sure yet where my destination (or destiny!) is taking me … but I do know that I am now on the right path. I have peace again, I am settled and I’m happy.
I have been assisted by many friends on my way .. old and new .. and to them I am eternally grateful … I will never be able to repay the kindness and understanding that has been shown to me during my many stumbles.
It is funny thing when you look back and see things clearly. At the time, in the moment, you cannot see or understand that you are losing your way … for me it wasn’t a sudden process but a long slow slide caused by stress.
One of my faults is that I am very proud … I do not always like to admit that I need help or I am failing .. I am working on this .. but I am finding it easier to say when I cannot achieve or do what I want to do … funny enough the more I manage to do this, the more freedom I feel inside of me. I was a prisoner of my own mind, my own standards … my own faults.
I have found myself as a Celebrant .. something that I never planned, but just sort of fell into .. it is a job that I love .. and, without being big headed, I am good at. Two years ago I never even knew what a Celebrant was … and never in the life of me thought I would be officiating at funerals and weddings! … but here I am.
My journey is not yet over … it never will be .. until the day my ashes are spread at the Lochan in Glencoe I will continue to move forward … meeting new people, having new experiences and no doubt leaving behind some things that were important to me once .. that is life … this is me.
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 