A friend of mine from Pink Sofa sent me this last night and asked if I would write something about it on my blog.
“What do you do when your hearts in two places,
you feel burnt but you´re torn inside,
you feel love but you just can´t embrace it.
When you´ve found the right one at the wrong time. ”
It reminds me of the song by Mary Macgregor “Torn between Two Lovers”
You can hear it here – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfCd4zqeveE
It is basically a reflection of a woman who is torn .. a situation I found myself in a long, long time ago. I had to decide between the comfort of love or the excitement of passion. I chose the comfort basically because my heart was torn but my head knew that the “passionate” one could never give me the peace of mind that I find so important.
Looking back, do I think I made the right decision? Yes I do, I don’t regret it but I just wish that the “passionate” one had appeared in my life at a different time.
What would happen if we met now? Very little I think, too many years and lovers have passed under the bridge since then. I always say I have no regrets, but maybe I just have a tiny wee “what if”!
My experience is a tiny, inconsequential, event that didn’t turn my world upside down, it just gave it a wee bit of a shoogle (shake!).. but for many women, especially for those who discover their sexuality later in life, it can be a horrendous situation.
These women are a lot braver than me .. and the feeling of duty can be a terrible millstone around their neck.
As lesbians we are sometimes scornful of ladies who claim to be Bi or who have children, we strive for equality and acceptance yet in our own world we exclude. Lets just try to be a little more understanding.
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 
Oct 06, 2010 @ 15:25:25
This is the comment back from my friend on PS
“Thanks..the blog was great…especially the bit about bi´s !
my preference has always been for women..tho not turned off by men…pressures from family and sometimes where we live contribute to you “doing the right thing (meaning normal thing). Then as age progresses we change..suddenly we dont feel the need to conform..or please our families or fit in….we want to be able to be ourselves but find we are still not accepted by many and some even within the lesbain community who disbelieve we will not stay faithful to the same sex partners..and will be tempted by the male species again. Even lesbians have been shocked to find themselves going off with men at a later age too. Im hoping that on these dating sites other genuine women like myself will not be at a disadvantage because we have been honest to say we have feelings for men as well as women..doesnt necessarily mean that they would be unfaithful to a same sex partner..tho im sure there are exceptions…im speaking from a personal view. Have already been told on Ps that some women bypass the bi profiles beacause of their fears of unfaithfulness..so all of a sudden the odds of finding a new love become considerably lower which is a shame..some fab connections may wll have been made had that thought not been there
Thanks again for the blog xx”