January 16, 2013
regular Alternate Normality, design, wedding 1 Comment
A quick wee story for you …
A very good friend of mine has a wonderfully talented daughter who loves to be different!
She recently organised her own wedding, making all the decorations and bouquets herself, in her own unique and wonderful style.
She has now set up a Facebook page with some of her creations .. and they are so good and so unusual I just had to let you know about them! Have a wee look .. and smile!
January 16, 2013
regular connection, love, Leave a comment
When you start to really know someone all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy. You recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the the person, Not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty..You can lust after it, be infatuated with it, want to own it, you can love it with your eyes and body but not your heart. That’s why when you really connect with a persons inner self any physical imperfections disappear and become irrelevant
I found this statement in a group I am in on Facebook today and it hit a wee spot with me and no doubt a few people out there.
I have been very guilt in the past of being keen on someone because of the way they looked … and nine times out of ten I have been left feeling disappointed as their look never made me happy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there was anything wrong with these ex lovers… just that we did not connect in a way that satisfied me or her!
Attraction is a funny thing, what you find attractive and cute at the beginning can become nothing more than an annoyance later on, leaving you frustrated and flailing in a relationship that is doomed to fail.
What really touches my heart and makes me love completely is someone who I can connect with in a very emotional way .. someone strong enough to stand up and allow their soul to be “naked” in an honest and true way.
I do not fall in love with people who I like the look of, I fall in love with women who I connect with – women I understand and who understand me. Women that I trust.
I also do not fall in love easily or quickly .. it takes me time and I like that … I would hate to fall in love with everyone I dated … all that emotion would kill me *smile*.
I don’t know all the answers to love, I don’t know all the answers to me … and nor do I want to .. a lovely wee surprise connection is always welcome!
January 15, 2013
regular be still, doing nothing, take time Leave a comment
Sometimes we rush. Sometimes we hurry. Sometimes we push. Sometimes we just want to be held and wanted, whether it be for the right or wrong reasons.
Most of the time we simply need to sit back and let things happen around us, spin on our own axis and let the world take care of itself.
This is what I am doing right now – I am just sitting back and letting life sort itself out – what will be, will be. I am not going to rush or push or hurry into doing something just because sometimes I would like to cuddle up and watch a movie. I have a dog for that.
I know a couple of my friends (actually I can think of four!) are all in the same position as me at the moment – they all need time out for themselves, to let things settle, to find their feet and their peace again. I’m one of the lucky one’s .. I have found mine – but I am just going to let things happen around me …. Im going to do nothing … I am going to be still.
January 14, 2013
regular listening, little things Leave a comment
It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.
(Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)
There is no “big thing” in life that has not started out as a “little thing” …. and so often the little things are overlooked and not realised.
We need people in our lives who understand that sometimes it is the little things that matter to us … we need them to listen to our little concerns so we know we can trust them with bigger stuff.
When I get to the point that I am having to repeat something to someone over and over again I realise that they are just not interested in listening, it is not that they are not capable, they just do not care enough to do so.
It is time to walk away then.
January 12, 2013
A wee conversation started up today on Facebook about the wildness of our youth and how our priorities change as we get older.
It is true that what was important to us when we were younger, socially as well as emotionally, is very different to what we want (and need!) as we get older.
I know what I want … and that is peace .. and an easy, truthful, respectful relationship where someone can understand me .. and I can understand her…
I want someone who makes me smile when I think about them, and who smiles when they think about me…
Someone who likes hoovering would also be good.
January 10, 2013
regular life, love,, regret 1 Comment
Regret is a punishment that we give ourselves. It is the inability to accept that we have tried the very best we could in circumstances in our past. There is no use wishing for a different outcome, a different reaction, a different situation, we have to accept what has gone and move forward.
We have to accept that our choice, whether right or wrong was the choice that WE made, no-one forced us… we made our choice and we have to accept that at the time it was a decision that felt right to us, whatever our reasons, whether it be fear, guilt or frustration.
I found this quote that sums it up quite nicely:
“If you followed your heart, then whatever the outcome, you acted bravely, and deserve to feel pride not regret. Try to understand and accept that it is impossible to foresee every potential outcome in any scenario. It is also impossible to know what results the alternative choice may have brought. You trusted your intuition, and even though you may not like the results that this action brought, undoubtedly you can learn and grow from the situation.”
There really is no point in tearing ourselves apart because of regret… we cannot change our past decisions and we have to accept our position or situation as it is and move forward. In the end the only person who is punishing us is ourselves.
January 8, 2013
Poetry and writing, regular lesbian, life, music 1 Comment
Image thanks to Lushquotes.com
Some write the music … others write the words … some dance…others just listen.
Being different people with different ways of feeling and expressing emotion is one of the most beautiful things about being human. When we are open to our hearts music and poetry are the most popular way of expressing emotion and occasionally we hear a song that stirs our heart and evokes a long hidden feeling or memory or we see words on a page that speak to us, or speak for us.
Life is very much like a beautiful song that we all want to sing … sometimes we go off tune, sometimes we forget the words, but it doesn’t really matter as every song will have a meaning to us, what we decide to do with the middle bit is up to us … learn the words, change the words, add a score, slow it down… it is our choice.
Sometimes we hear a beautiful rhythm but cannot get our words to fit no matter how we try .. in the end if we try too hard we either lose part of the beauty of the music .. or the meaning of the words.
Nothing should be forced, rhythms should come together naturally, but with music and with rhyme, if it doesn’t then we need to accept that and carry on searching.
The beat goes on……..
January 6, 2013
regular lesbian, love,, lust 9 Comments
I have just had a very interesting online conversation with someone who has just read my blog. I don’t know this girl and she does not know me .. but she liked the blog and asked why I came across so cynical towards love.
It was a hard question to answer … and I’m not sure I know the answer to it anyway.
She went onto say that 2 months ago she met a woman who is her “soul mate”, they are looking for flat together now and talking about having a family in the future and looking into the best way of doing this.
I asked her if she felt this was a long enough time to know someone to make these types of decisions and her reply was “Yes, everytime I see her I just want to make love to her”.
Now .. I’m all for a bit of passion and butterflies, but to build a “relationship” on the fact that you want to have sex with someone is, in my opinion, a recipe for disaster.
It takes me a while to fall in love, but when I love, I do love, maybe not in a huge passionate way, but in my way. I like to see what is left after the passion dies down a bit.
Maybe I have this all wrong .. I am really not sure … maybe I think differently, maybe I’m more cautious, but I certainly wouldn’t commit like that after 2 months!
What do you think?? Am I wrong?
January 4, 2013
regular friends with benefits, friendship, lesbian, older lesbian, single 3 Comments
Friendship in all forms is a wonderful thing that makes our lives a brighter wee place to live in.
We have friends who make us laugh and cry, friends we can talk to with our deepest thoughts and trust completely and other friends on the peripheries who we meet now and again and enjoy their company for the short time we see them.
Friendship as you get older becomes something deeper, you realise that the amount of friends you have is nothing compared to the closeness of the few who really mean something in your life.
Sometimes we get more from a friendship, a short period of time when we can feel wanted and enjoy the want we feel for someone else. A friend with benefits.
I have in my past had friends with benefits, which generally worked out great for all concerned, with one exception where the expectation from the other party was more than I was able to give.
On one occasion it developed into a relationship that lasted for a couple of years, but it is rare for FWB to do this, normally FWB are people coming out of a period of hurt or darkness and not able or ready to commit.
To be honest I find a FWB easier to deal with than a list of short term relationships that leaves me feeling guilty and unsatisfied. I have never been one to jump from a relationship straight into another … I like to take time out, I don’t want to hurt someone by using them just because I am on the rebound.
I am now 52 years old, I am contented and settled in my life once again and I am really not sure if I want a relationship again. Maybe that will change, I have no idea, but I have for a long time felt under pressure to compromise too much to keep someone happy and in the end made myself unhappy. I am really not prepared to do that now.
If I could find a “perfect woman” (Nigella jokes aside!) .. I know what I want .. a thinker, a joker, a tough minded opinionated woman, strong at times, but with a weakness that shows from time to time, who wants to make someone feel special but feel special in return, not by words but by actions. Someone who wants to spend time with me and is happy with their life and does not rely on me for all their happiness.
I need someone who understands the importance of sharing decisions with a partner and how the word US is more important than I, but also is independent enough to understand my need for time on my own as well as my need for time alone with my partner and time to socialise .. in a normal balance that is stress-less.
Does she exist? … am I being selfish? who knows … until then .. I will just be ..
January 2, 2013
regular fence, opinion, sitting Leave a comment
“Ceej you and some other close friends gave me the words of wisdom to realise. Sitting on the fence and turning a blind eye isn’t always the right thing to do. Diplomacy is only ever a good thing when the other party is intelligent enough to read what is being implied. But also it had taught me to value those who contribute even in the smallest of ways” (Cathy Munchkin Munro)
I was going to write more on this … but on reflection the picture and Cathy’s words say it all …. sometimes less is more!
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