The someone

We all have “someone” … one person in our life who we wish we could sit down with and talk to .. and I mean really talk to … an exchange of truths and words from the heart and not from a place of hurt or anger.

We want them to understand our hurt, and for us to understand theirs.   We want them to know that we do care and we want know if they care too.

We rarely achieve this.   We make it complicated, we are embarrassed,  we are angry, we involve our head, we are planning our replies instead of really listening, we try to score points, it’s all about “face” rather than heart.

Miscommunication is not in the words we say, but what is understood from them.

I have been upset by someone’s lack of action … over things I will not repeat .. not particularly important things but just for me a matter of principle.

On the flip side this person has every right to be angry with me because of the emotional hurt I caused to her.   Hurt I really didn’t mean to cause but from the place I was in, I thought I was being honest with her.  In retrospect I wasn’t .. I was blaming her for my life being a mess, my peace lost and for feeling so stressed and frustrated all the time.  Why did I do this .. I have no idea .. there are a hundred excuses I could give .. but it would be just that .. an excuse … not a reason.   I hold my hand up to that.

Sometimes you have to be honest with yourself and admit “I care” .. and I do.   I want to end 2012 with the end of all the hurt and anger that we have caused between the two of us and I hope that in 2013 we can start again, wipe the slate clean and restore the friendship we should have never have lost.

I will stand up and say sorry for any hurt I have caused because I want to keep this person in my life.   I want to rebuild the friendship and try to rebuild the trust which is so vital for me in friendship.    Sometimes I am too stubborn for my own good but I want to put my pride aside and say this is my olive branch …   Será enterrar a mi orgullo para guardar nuestra amistad  (I think.. but I used an online translator!! – this could be a great example of miscommunication!)