The many faces of CJ

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Sharon, my wonderful (drunk!) buddy and me!!

Today for a laugh I suggested on my facebook page that my friends should change their profile picture to a picture of me in honour of my birthday on Christmas day … many did … with hilarious results … I have laughed and laughed until diet coke came down my nose! … thank you ladies .. you have made me very happy .. and my sides are hurting now!!

Look inside …..



All of us feel under pressure to live up to expectations at times.

I certainly did, perhaps because I am one of those people who suffer from guilt and responsibility.   A good thing, yes, sometimes but sometimes a burden that is hard to shake off.

I am no longer young, I am no longer the person I was 20 or even 5 years ago.   I have changed, slowly… and it was something that took me a long time to accept.

I grew tired.  Tired of fighting battles, tired of stress, tired of not being heard and tired of being the person who was always expected to laugh.    So I made a decision (party forced on me because of stress), but it was a decision, to become who I wanted to be,  To stop the pretence and just become.

I no longer put up with crap, I do not put up with liars or troublemakers and I only have people in my life that I want in my life .. whether they be close friends or on the outskirts.   

I look back on the person I used to be and know I made mistakes, but I will continue to make mistakes, I am human and mistakes are part of our growing and becoming, but without these mistakes I would not be in the position or the person I am now.  So I am grateful.

I am under no illusion that everyone will like the new me … hell some people didn’t like the old me! .. but what the heck … I am old enough and wise enough to know that I cannot please everyone, so I won’t bother … those that like me, like me.. those that don’t .. well .. they don’t deserve me anyway! *grin* 

I have now found my place of peace, not just in a physical location but in an emotional and mental state and I am happy.  

I have also discovered that I no longer fear some of the things I used to fear .. being lonely .. I am not lonely, not being loved .. I am loved more than I ever have been and I know that the feeling of being the only person in the world that thought the way I did was a myth of my own making.

I do know that many of us are fighting battles within at the moment.   It is a turbulent and troublesome time and I wish I could take it all away and give you peace.   I can’t .. this is something you have to find from within, but I wish with all my heart you find your peace.

Always remember you are not alone.   Someone always cares.

Have a peaceful and fun festive period x


On this journey (that was party forced on me because of stress)

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