August 29, 2010
Poetry and writing, regular affection, hug, lesbian 3 Comments
We lie
Stroking, touching, spent.
Hearing the rain on the window, the wind in the trees, a different world away
We lie
In our world, in calm peace, our silence speaking the words we cannot yet say.
You move, your body close and hot against me, your lips gently touching my neck.
We lie
Lost in the memory of our exploration, of our discovery of our cries.
Remembering the taste, the sounds, when we sought and reached and fell
We lie
Complete, in silence,
This moment I want to keep forever
We lie
August 23, 2010
Most popular posts, Poetry and writing, regular desire, lesbian, weakness 2 Comments
You are my weakness,
my desire.
The smile on my face, the source of my fire.
The rebirth of my want.
Filling my head.
The drama of fantasy to be played out in bed.
The air that I breathe
As I start to live
And the source of my doubt of how much to give.
My soul is the devils
Wicked and wild.
My body is yours and I am beguiled
My heart is still mine
But as I start to live,
It is a dangerous thing, but mine to give.
You are my weakness,
My desire.
The smile on my face, the source of my fire.
August 22, 2010
regular happy, smile, worry Leave a comment
Last week was a mixed bag of emotions for me .. I had a great time with my best friend in Croydon getting very, very drunk and met up with other friends in London for a day of frivolity and Margaritas (fab!).
I arrived back in Scotland on Monday chilled out, happy, relaxed .. unfortunately that didn’t last long .. by Wednesday afternoon I felt like escaping … but the week did improve.
I have a situation at the moment that is making me smile .. it is a very unexpected situation and one with many complications. I have been worrying quite a bit about it .. whether I was doing the right thing .. whether I was being fair but at the end of the day it is something that makes me smile.
I haven’t had something that made me smile like this for a while, so it is lovely .. whether circumstances allow anything else to come of it I don’t know .. but at the moment it is lovely .. Im smiling and I am not going to worry about it.
I think that sometimes people (including me at times!) can overthink things .. I am now going to simply refuse to do this .. it is what it is .. and I like it.. why worry about it.. that only adds to the complications!
August 21, 2010
Well .. here I am on WordPress, Ive moved the blog from Tumblr .. simply because I use wordpress for work and know how to work it better!
There have been a lot of changes in my life lately, some good, some not so good but all in all they are for the best.
Change is never easy in any shape of form and the thought of it is usually much more frightening than the actual doing!
My new “change” is to exercise more .. I need to lose two stone before I am happy with myself and I was considering joining a diet club BUT .. I don’t tend to overeat these days .. I do tend to sit on my ass and do very little exercise so that will change.
My date is Monday .. everything starts then
Watch this space .. hopefully I will be shrinking before your very eyes!
August 21, 2010
Poetry and writing, regular Leave a comment
The old cat
She sits and waits … there is no hurry
.. a warm day, the sun on her back
Watching
thinking of her next kill.. and the kills of her past
.. she stretches, then lies back down
Remembering
Her ears prick.. there are kittens about
… cute and popular, exciting and playful
Annoying
She moves away.. cautiously, slowly
.. choosing her way, she stops, notices
Hunting
She sits and waits … there is no hurry
August 20, 2010
regular communication, relationships Leave a comment
I read a very interesting blog yesterday from my good pal and business colleague Jane Woods http://www.changingpeople.co.uk/2010/stop-talking-to-your-partner/
It got me thinking…
One of the major breakdowns in any relationship, business or personal, is the lack of communication, whether this is based on the fact that people just lose interest in listening or whether they just cannot communicate how they feel.
There is also the danger of miscommunication – these days social media has opened up a new route for people to communicate but we still have thoughts that we have to put in writing. Thoughts and emphasis sometimes come out very different in the written word simply due to the lack of personal knowledge of that person or the lack of facial or vocal expression.
This has been a difficult week for me in my personal life .. my communication skills have suddenly hit a new time low and not just with one person.. I didn’t think I was to blame for any of the problems .. but the fact that it has happened twice in one week (and quite major misunderstandings) with two unconnected people makes me think the problem may be me.
I am tired trying to be heard and failing and I feel locked in my own little world .. and wondering if I am the only person in the world who thinks the way I do .. which is not something I have felt since my teens.
I am seriously thinking about taking a break from things and disappearing into the wilds of Scotland somewhere, where I don’t have to talk, don’t have to listen and don’t have to agree with anyone apart from me.
The person I need to listen to the most is me .. and I think Ive forgotten how to do that.
August 17, 2010
regular breakdown, hard place, relationship, rock, win Leave a comment
Sometimes I feel I just can’t win ..
Life is never an easy path to tread but sometimes, during the more bumpy times, emotions are dragged through the hay backwards and can come out frazzled and a bit of a mess.
No matter what I say or do .. I am wrong .. I can’t win.
I am misunderstood, I misunderstand….
Sometimes you just have to give up, do nothing and wait for the dust to settle.
Maybe then we can call it a draw!
August 10, 2010
regular lesbian, life, love, Leave a comment
I had a lovely conversation into the early hours of this morning with a friend on a wide variety of subjects as we put the world to rights with our wisdom <cough!>
One of the things we discussed were those “three little words” .. no .. Not ”I love you” .. they are far to easy to say without really meaning it, whether it be in a moment of passion or in reply to them when really you don’t mean them but feel you should say them! .. and yes I have been guilty of this many times!
The “three little words” that are harder to say are the ones that mean that you have to admit you were wrong or you have to take a deep breath and hope you re not going to face rejection .. many people never manage to do this .. they end up going through life loving and losing because they are just not brave enough…
I have listed some of the words we discusssed last night .. but Im sure you have a few of your own!
I am sorry
It’s my fault
Please help me
I want you
You were right
I was wrong
I trust you
… feel free to add your own!
July 30, 2010
If there is one thing in life that I enjoy is a laugh .. I like to laugh, I like to make people laugh .. I have met so many friends through laughing and it is always a joy to meet up with them and laugh our heads off. Last weekend I went to Leeds and I literally could NOT move for laughing .. in the end I had to ask Twanky, Karen, Viv and Laurel to stop! It was just one of those really nice and easy weekends, good friends, good food, good wine and good laughs.. what weekends should be all about.
There have been times in my life where it has been hard for me to laugh .. we (or most of us) have all had the heartache of the break up of an affair (and boy does that cut to the quick) and I went through a very huge blow to my pride when I lost my first business and home .. BUT through it all I had friends in the background who stood by me, let me fall to pieces and then let ME pick myself back up again .. it was a long road and during those days I had very little to laugh about.
Now, 5 years later, I am a director of a successful small recruitment agency and looking back the hard, bad times were tough, but now they are a time that I am GLAD I experienced. I learned so much about me, about my attitude and about what I want out of life.. and the results were quite surprising! but … the most important lesson I learned .. no matter how bad and dark my days were .. something that made me laugh lifted my spirits and made things seem OK.. even if just for a short period.
I know I sometimes over use “humour”, it is my defence mechanism, sometimes I am misunderstood with it .. and have to dig myself out of very big holes.. (whoops!).. when I was younger I was actually quite shy (yup .. I know .. unbelievable eh!) well .. actually no .. my humour hid the fact I was self consious and shy ..
Now it is a very different matter, I use humour because it “amuses me” (grin!) .. I love to laugh and my outrageous behaviour is no longer down to covering my shyness or self conciousness .. it is because I AM being outrageous .. simply because I can be <grin>
As Mohammed Ali said “there is no shame in going down, the shame is in staying down”
July 23, 2010
ohhhh this has been one long week .. it is very very quiet in work .. not much in the way of new business coming in because of the “trades holidays” in Fife, Edinburgh and Glasgow. Saying that we still have a lot of people out working but they are all behaving themselves and I have only had to replace two this week.
Im off to Leeds this weekend to see my friends Twanky and Karen. Viv and Laurel, other friends who I have not seen in 5 years or so will also be there and hopefully if lumps, bumps and madness allows Lubey and Mags will be there too.
It will be funny meeting up with them as a single woman .. as I have always met up with them as part of a couple (apart from Lubey but we got wayyyyyy back!).
I guess it will be my coming out party .. LOL look out “wuruld”
I am really looking forward to it .. I love catching up with people, especially the people who are going along as they are all interesting, fun and completely bonkers!
I have other friends who do not know this group and I would love to get them all together .. I can just imagine the hooting and laughing that would go on.
When all is said and done.. lovers, money, property come and go but true friends, no matter if you see them once a week, once a year or once every ten years are the one thing that will give you constant joy .. (apart from a dog of course!)
Have a lovely weekend everyone, I hope you all have frienship, smiles and a wee bit of sun!
Updates from the Fife Branch of the Federation of Small Businesses
Welcome to my mind
a Canadian (YA) young adult book blog
A safe space for transgender and non binary individuals.
Books, Daily Motivational Quotes
Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue is a lesfic author at amzn.to/36DFT2x. Sign-up for her newsletter at higginbothampublications.com
Uncovered Myself One Pound at a Time; Discovering Myself One Day at a Time
FOR WOMEN WHO LOVE WOMEN
Dysfunctional Lesbian Chronicles / Mildly Amusing Stuff
Come Let's Fall in Love Again.
the Story within the Story
The humble quest to read everything lesbian: a lesbian book blog.
Compartilhando meu coração
Abandoned Places
HopelessCrazyLove.com
Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever
A poetry blog where Leni King and other lesbian and lesbian-friendly poets can showcase their work, exchange ideas and support one another
Lesbian Love, Life and Laughs!
A collection of poetry and prose
Brae. A gay woman's tale! 