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Gut instinct…

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I have learned that I should always listen to my gut instinct.    I often “consider” things .. weigh them up .. and then make a choice based on my decision.   More often than not I am wrong.    In retrospect my gut instinct has always been right … I have merely convinced myself otherwise.

We all have gut instinct … we all “know” things .. that perhaps we do not want to accept. We “know” when a lover is saying the right things.. but actions prove otherwise.  We “know” when a relationship is over .. but we can’t let go.    We “know” when we love, who we love.. but we cannot always let our instinct take over .. instead we reason, or agree with our ego and fear, letting them win over our instinct.

The more at peace I find myself, the more I realise how loudly my gut instinct shouts at times …  I have an ocean of emotional intellgence and instinct inside me,  if I just let myself trust in it a bit more.

I was talking to some friends yesterday about connections we make with other people, true honest connections that are not easy to find, but are pure and honest.    I honestly believe that I was blind to this sort of connection, not deliberately, but because of various other factors in my life that took over my thoughts and concentration.    I forgot how to just “be”  .. how to relax .. how to feel… everything was planned and sorted in my head .. maybe it had to be .. but I realise now that all I had to do was trust my instinct .. it certainly would have lost me a lot of stress!

Instinct is a primal thing.. we felt things long before we could think about them.  Animals have instinct, they need it to survive.  We should remember that … go with what we feel, not what we think.

I am certainly beginning to trust my feelings over my thoughts … and I do not think that is a bad thing at all!

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Mid aged crisis?

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The menopause is a funny old thing … I have friends going through it right now.

Luckily for me I had an early menopause .. no great hassles with hot sweats and stuff and apart from a couple of years where it was a bit annoying it passed easily.    Or so I thought.

I was speaking to a friend last night who told me how tired and stressed she was feeling, she couldn’t pin it down to anything in particular but did blame it on her business but it did get me thinking….

Perhaps at this age (both of us are 52) we are now feeling the effects of our middle age .. the so called “middle age” crisis has kicked in (although if that is the case then I am thankfully out of the other side). 

I have had one or two strange thoughts… like getting a tattoo … like disappearing to foreign country to live … all very “not me” ….  thankfully I spent my “tattoo money” on decorating my living room .. however I do still have this little irk to live abroad.   A nice warm country, where I can faff around and be a bit of a grumpy auld woman and wear socks with sandals etc!!  *smile*

The last couple of years have been tough .. I have been very “out of sorts” with myself .. and my need for peace and relaxation have been at desperate levels .. perhaps it is not all about stress.. perhaps my middle age has something to do with my life choices and feelings .. or perhaps I am just a little bit mad and eccentric!

Who knows … let’s wait and see what happens next!

 

 

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