overcoming feelings of inadequacy

Recent experiences have made me sit down and think …. a lot about me, my life and the trust I put in people.

I think because I am an open person, sometimes too open, I expect people will be the same way.   Sadly, I have recently been proven wrong twice.

The first was my ex … who told me right at the beginning she wasn’t good enough for me … I poo pooed the idea … I thought she was great … but as it turned out .. she was right and I was wrong.

Her reasons behind our break up were pathetic … but to her justified to cover the fact that she was already involved (either emotionally but I suspect physically too), with someone else.  So be it.  Her choice, her loss, her guilt that she can live with, she knows she lied… and so proved her originally comment of not being good enough to be exactly right.

The second was a woman I had a couple of coffee meetings and dates with … thankfully it never went any further than a couple of kisses … she told me she was single but had a very jealous housemate … but a friend that she loved.   It was a bit of a weird situation and especially weird when I found out that she hadn’t even told this “housemate” that we had even met up!

Although I broke contact with her, at the weekend I had to text her.  It was a closed text, not needing a reply …. but I received a phonecall.

She asked me when the last time was when we were in contact … and I realised I was was on speaker phone … I told her about 6 to 8 weeks ago … and she asked me to repeat it so this “housemate” could hear … I said “it was none of her F***ing business” and from the background came the response “well stay away from my girlfriend” …

What the real situation is … I have no idea ..  but whatever it is, it is truly a situation that is unhealthy and quite frankly freaky.

I have no room in my life for liars, cheats or people who will treat people so badly.

Unsurprisingly there is a common factor here.  Alcohol.  Although you can guarantee that none will admit it.

I do not wish any harm on these people … I think they are managing to fuck up their own lives quite well without me being in it.  I intend to keep it that way.