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Fear

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I was writing a eulogy earlier for a woman who lived her life serving others.

She was a “people pleaser”, someone who hated to say “No” to anyone, no matter how much they put on her.

Her daughter told me that her mum, spent so much time trying to make others happy that she often forgot to make herself a priority… and spent most of her life trying to please her brothers and sisters who knew exactly how to get her to do what they wanted, while they did very little for her.

When she died, this lady had given away  so much money to her family that her daughter was struggling to find the money for her funeral.   She asked the family, who had taken so much over the years, to help.  Not one of them did.

It is a sad story, she was a woman who was used by others, simply because they knew how to make her feel guilty.

It made me think.   I am a very independent woman, and I think, quite a generous one. But I give because I want to, not because I feel I should.

I am a very open woman, I don’t have secrets, I speak my mind … and not everyone likes that… but to be frank, if they don’t like it, they don’t deserve to be in my  life anyway.

Over the past few months I have had my eyes opened in more than one way.  Weak excuses to cover bad behaviour and to pass the blame to ease their  guilt,  as well as sad situations caused by fears and unhealthy reliance on many things.

I  don’t have time for people like that in my life.  I don’t want people like that in my life… and I will not be reliant on relationships or friendships that are dictated to by “outsiders”.

I have a great wee life (even if 2018 is not proving to be a good year for me!) … but I have had my eyes opened to a lot of things … and I am grateful for that … life is too short to waste emotion, time and money on the wrong people.

Here is to enjoying the real friends in life.

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