Brae. A gay woman's tale!

…. Is back and fighting fit … ok ok … fighting fat maybe!…

No matter what heartbreak someone gives you, if you loved them, you will never wish them pain.

I certainly don’t … people make choices for what they want not always for what they need.

Someone who bounces from one relationship to another, will never find out what they need… because they never take the time to get to know themselves and what it is the most that they need in their lives.

They just “become” very like the person they are dating, taking up their hobbies and interests and often their mannerisms too … not doing that deliberately but just because they are not yet strong enough to be who they really are.

For all my faults, and I have many, I know exactly who I am … some parts of me I am happy with, some not so much, but I accept them all because it is all these good and bad parts of me that makes me the person I am.

I don’t want a fraud in my life, I don’t want someone who doesn’t really want me for being me and just wants to change me.   That is not love, that is possession and control.

I suppose it all depends on what you want out of life … getting pissed and a pair of open legs are not my main goals in life.

To find peace and happiness with someone, who truly is mature enough to know themselves and what they want is what I look for in people.   Have I been fooled .. yup I have … but it won’t make me stop believing that there is someone sane, sensible and true out there …

I will keep looking … if I find her .. great … if not … I have my fabulous cottage, my caravan, my peace and my dug … and that is enough for me.

I had plans for today … I had to write a Eulogy (done!) and then I was going to the gym and a wee swim … then I was going to come home and sort out my “work” wardrobe…

I did feel a bit tired yesterday but put it down to being so busy and going to the gym so much lately … turns out I was wrong … I have woken up this morning with a stinking head cold … and my nose is running like a tap!

Ive decided it would be stupid to go swimming (or to the gym) when I am feeling so bunged up so will just do some exercise at home and hopefully, by tomorrow, by nose will have dried up a bit and I can get back to my routine!

I feel as if I have no energy today what so ever … I hate when I have to force myself to do stuff but I know I have to … Wardrobe you are getting it!!