Brae. A gay woman's tale!

Codependency is a very common disorder in relationships.   Whether it be a family dynamic or a romantic tryst, being Codependent only spells trouble for all.

A relationship where one is seen as being the “saviour” of the other results in unacceptable behaviour being seen as the norm … and excuses made, simply because of this need.

The truth is, you cannot save anyone from themselves … you cannot make a person someone they are not …

I had a lovely walk along Aberdour beach today with my pal Beck … as we were heading back to the car, we met a couple with a wee dog and Sprout and their wee dog were desperate to say hello …

We started chatting and found out both dogs were just over 1 year old …. both born in November … just laughing I said “you didnt get her from a farm in Shotts did you” … turns out they did! … they actually live in Shotts and when they went to pick up their pup there were two left … a rough hair and a smooth hair … they took the rough hair … the same day, I picked up Sprout! … these two are sisters … the couple actually live in Shotts and were just through in Aberdour for the day … and I cannot believe the strange coincidence … Beck and I were stunned!

Both dogs, although they look different, are exactly the same temperament wise and both love a cuddle!

In the last week there have been 3 huge coincidences … one of my friends sitting next to an ex of mine at a concert … then finding out that Mo and I both dated another ex … and now this … the universe must be trying to tell me something …. I am just not sure what yet!

I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life. I guess a lot of people do, whether it be in the wrong job, wrong relationship or just accepting less than we deserve in all aspects of our lives.

Recently I have much more aware of wasting time. Even though I am not really one for regrets, there are things that I wish I had done sooner… and people who should have never been allowed in… but, even with the time that I have wasted at least my clock is still ticking and I’m really enjoying my life again…. I’m loving the time I spend at the gym and pool, loving the time I spend with my true friends and loving just having a life that doesn’t rely on anyone else to make me happy.

I have lots of things happening this year and I’m looking forward to each of them!

As for the time I’ve wasted… well, I can’t get that back, but at least it’s behind me and I don’t have to waste any more time on people or things that are just not worthy!

I hate the “in between” stage of dieting… that part when your old clothes are too big… and when you dig out trousers that were once far too small only to find that they too are far too big!… but you don’t want to buy more because you are still shrinking!!

My pals were laughing at me moaning tonight … I forgot to put my belt on and spent most of the night howking up my breeks!!

What makes it worse is my tops are now too big too… I think a spending spree is in order!!

Perhaps setting my TRX up in my bedroom is not a good idea….I can’t think of where else to put it though!!!

As part of my ongoing training regime … I am meant to do crunchies on one of these balls at the gym … but I am so bad at it, it’s embarrassing.

So … I decided to buy one to practice on at home … I blew it up (thankfully a foot pump was included) … and decided to have a wee go … I sat on it …  rolled off and thumped my head on the white drawers at the side of the bloody thing!

Sprout was barking, I was swearing, the cats ran for their lives …

I guess I will try again tomorrow!

A few times now I have received messages from friends to say my ex has been seen at such and such… mainly concerts. Please do not do this.

I don’t care what she is up to… or with whom. She is not in my life now and never will be again. Her lies and omissions, are unforgivable to me. I don’t want her any where near my life… and her latest fuck buddy is welcome to her.

My life is moving along quite nicely and I intend to keep it that way. Some people are just not morally or ethically healthy enough to be in it. So please stop messaging me with “sightings”… I really don’t want to know.

For those of you that still have her on Social Media… then feel free to do so, but please do not mention anything about me. She lost the right to know anything about my life a long time ago, when I discovered the woman I thought she was never really existed… she can, in the purest of terms… Fuck off.