Brae. A gay woman's tale!

I had an early night last night … I was emotionally and physically tired after a traumatic funeral and 2 hours at the gym … so I just took myself (and Sprout!) off to bed early.

I slept right through to 7am this morning … longest sleep I have had in months and woke up feeling revived!

Today I have been on fire … a funeral tribute written and a wedding done too!

Now I am off to the gym and for a swim again … go me!

Today has been a hard day. I took a funeral for a wonderful young woman. She was only 25 years old. It was a tragic story and her friends and family are all understandingly heart broken. The young, beautiful girl had bravely been fighting cancer, but after chemo caught a common cold that turned to pneumonia… and it stole her life.

The family booked a private venue for the service and asked everyone to turn up looking glamorous! And they did… by their hundreds! It was the biggest funeral I have ever taken and, although a tragic situation, the amount of people attending really proved how loved and respected she was.

We had laughter, we had tears but more than that, we had love.

There are days when my work is emotionally exhausting… today was one of them.

I came home, got changed and hit the gym before having a swim.

Tonight I am aching physically.. and emotionally.

What a day… up early to write then 2 funerals back to back in Perth … the first was massive … so big that I didn’t have time to go and grab a sandwich and coffee at Perth before my second … I then had to go straight onto a family visit, so no time again to eat!

Once came home (and managed to eat some food!) I then had to write another … so far it has been a 15 hour day for me … and I am totally puggled!

This is the second day in a row that I have been too busy to do any exercise and I feel twitchy … I do have a huge funeral to take tomorrow morning… followed by writing and a family visit … but I am determined to get there tomorrow … I can’t believe I miss training so much … I am still quite in shock about it all! *smile*

I am so glad that the days are getting longer again … there is something energising about the longer days and the days of gloom and just wanting to come home and chill are disappearing as the sunlight stretches the days!

This is the view from my office … I should be writing a Eulogy at the moment but my head is elsewhere … so I have decided to stop writing and go back to it later, after I have been up to Perth for a couple of funerals and a family visit.

I didn’t manage to fit in time for the gym or swimming yesterday and unlikely I will today so I am going to do a double session on Saturday and Sunday … it is funny how something like exercising creeps under your skin … 6 months ago I would have laughed if you had told me I would become an exercise freak … but I am really enjoying it.

Tomorrow my problem with finding time for the gym will ease as I am converting my summerhouse into a mini gym … the last piece of equipment has arrived and will be set up tomorrow … so when my time is short I can always just pop out to the summerhouse for half an hour, sadly I don’t have a swimming pool but hey ho … you can’t have everything in life!

Today I managed to fit into size 16 trousers … not small by any means but a hell of a lot better than the 22’s I was in at Christmas ….

I am really happy … all my hard work and exercise is paying off and I feel great!… my aim is size 12 … if I carry on the way I am, I will achieve it …

I’m having the day off from exercise today … I have a load of work I need to get done and I just don’t have time … but I m going to get up early tomorrow and go instead!

I can’t believe I am doing this … what a difference to my life since my back problems have been sorted out by my physio … taught me to never trust the NHS … neither the doctors … or the nurses LOL!!

So … the letter box pops and there on the mat

Apart from the hairs of my dug and cat

Lay a wee envelope … my gawd it’s a caird!

Should I be hopeful or should I be scared.

I opened it up a wee bit at time

Wondering if it read “darling be mine”

But all it said was “will you shut up”

You have me, your pal and your cute wee pup

And you know what… that is just right

There is no sorrow in my single plight

I don’t need a liar, a scew up or even a cheat

Or some moon howler to make me complete

I am who I am, and I am ok

And I will be celebrating Valentines Day

Not with a woman, but with my Sprout

The time wasters in my life I can do without

So here is to us all, who find we are alone

There is peace in our solitude and in our home

Don’t settle for less than you truly deserve

At least there’s no idiot to get on our nerve!

Well … I may be cooking steaks for me and Sprouty on Valentines Day … but there may be a wee bit of news on the romance front soon.   I don’t want to say anything at the moment until I’m sure … but I think a few people may be shocked … others not so much as one or two know the situation… not that it’s a bad one … but I will wait until I’m sure .. but one little clue

il romanticismo è nell'aria

That’s it …. *grin*

My pal sent me this tonight … and it certainly rings true … last year was bloody awful … so far (touch wood!) this year has so far been brilliant! .. I did deserve more, I do demand more … and I am disciplined enough to work hard in many ways ….  

But in hindsight I am guilty for ignoring so many signs… so just another lesson learned… and each lesson eventually makes me stronger… and I am!

Well… delighted with 4.5 pounds off tonight… that is me over the stone mark (still a bit to go yet), but it is an important milestone for me.

I have been eating healthy and working hard at the gym as well as swimming and today I had my first lesson with working on weights after getting the go ahead from my physio.

I have become a bit obsessed about my fitness now, my aim is to try to get off high blood pressure tablets (or at least have them reduced)… and to try to control my Type 2 Diabetes… again I want to cut my medication. I have already managed to cut my painkillers thanks wholly to Abdur my Physio…. and now, instead of planning my work around someone else’s schedule, I am planning it around me and exercise.

This whole experience has made me feel the best I have in years, my pain is less… some days I don’t even think about my back and I no longer feel as bad about myself at my lack of ability to do anything physical without pain.

I am also meeting some lovely people who are so encouraging to this auld fat bird… I have a long way to go, but I know this journey will not be a waste of my time!