I was speaking to a friend last night who was asking my advice (I know .. I laughed too!) ..  

Her “problem” was that she had met someone who she really liked but the relationship is not going smoothly.  The girl who she has met was honest with her from the start and said she was not looking for a serious relationship and was dating other people.

My friend however, wants to take this relationship to a new level.  She asked me whether she should lay her cards on the table and fight for this.

My first instinct was to tell her that she had to sit down and talk to her “friend” but on reflection I think I may have given her the wrong advice.

Relationships have to be a two way thing, both of you need to put effort in.  A one sided relationship never works and the person putting the most effort in is usually the one who gets hurt.

I have twice fought to keep a relationship going, once I lost, once I thought I had won.  In reflection I never won.  It ended up being a relationship where I felt I was the one putting all the effort in with no emotional or physical return and in the end I just gave up.   In hindsight I was wrong to fight, I should have just let it go and moved on.

Maybe I’m too cynical these days to fight, maybe I’m just tired, I don’t know.  What I do know is that no matter how good you are at fighting in the end you will lose.

I know that there are women out there who like to be fought for.  What that says about their insecurities and their emotional maturity needs a wiser woman than me to work out but I know that I would never again want to be with a woman who made me fight for her.

Cynical or wise?   I’m not sure!

Comments for and against welcome!