Brae. A gay woman's tale!

As the years have passed, I have realised what I want

out of life.

Enough money to pay my bills, with a little left over to enjoy.

A job that inspires me.

Good friends and lots of laughter.

A home where I can find my peace.

A happy heart and a still mind.

These do not seem like much, in fact quite boring.  But to me they are everything.

I have lived a wild life, done things I am a little ashamed of, and treated people with less respect than they deserved.

On the other hand, I’ve done things I am very proud of, and given some people more respect than they deserved.

I have had great lows in my life, but great highs too and each experience has made me who I am.

My wild socialising days are in the past, now I prefer peace and quiet in the company of a few friends, with the odd crazy night flung in!

I have misunderstood, I have been misunderstood.

I have failed and I have succeeded.

I’ve broken hearts and I’ve had mine broken.

All of these things have made me, me!

For some I am too outspoken, too truthful and refuse to keep quiet when other people’s behaviour is not acceptable.

I refuse to put up with crap.  I cannot abide liars and cheats and simply won’t have them in my life… and if I have something to say, I say it.

I am seen as “too strong”, when in reality I am just honest and if I am in a situation where I feel uncomfortable or awkward, I simply remove myself from it.

Recent events made me sit back and think … and I have … a lot … but the outcome is still the same … I want exactly the same things out of life than I did before.  Whether that is with a partner or not, that doesn’t matter … but if it is, she will have to be in the “same place” as I am.

I don’t want a party girl, who finds excitement at the bottom of a bottle and who has to have a fun packed life.   I have been there, done that and moved on.

I am not a big drinker (excluding the odd occasion!) … and when I am sober the smell of alcohol off someone is a real turn off for me.   Although to be fair, when I smoke I guess the smell of tobacco is a bit of a turn off for some too!

If I do meet someone … I want her to have found their own peace, have her own life and who realises that a true relationship is doing things together, and apart … it is enjoying each other’s company when sitting in silence because you know that person is just happy being with you.

For me it is all about peace and thankfully I am finding mine again.