Brae. A gay woman's tale!

I am a Scot.   I have played for Scotland at hockey. I have served in the Army. I have my own business.   All of these things I have been very proud of.   I also happen to be a lesbian.

I am not a religious person.  I never have been, I never will be.   In my opinion the bible is a load of old tosh, written by individuals with their own opinion and views (a bit like today’s Wikipedia!)…

I am disgusted and frankly astounded at the Church of Scotland’s stance again gay marriage.     The church is, and always has been, a corrupt and bigoted organisation that has had too much power in the past.

Ask yourself this

How many wars have been caused by religion?

How many wars have been caused by homosexuality?

How many acts of peodophillia has the church covered up?

How often has the church treated women like second class citizens?

The Church of Scotland should hang it’s head in shame.

One of the major statements released reads  “To redefine marriage to include same-sex marriage may have significant and, as yet, inadequately considered repercussions for our country, for the wellbeing of families, communities and individuals.”

Really?

And how can the fact that two people who love each other and want the right to choose a church wedding cause such civil chaos?

Im afraid religion has once again become an excuse for bigottry … a sad and frankly embarrassing time for Scotland… we are a country going backwards.

The link to the full article can be read here  http://www.scotsman.com/news/politics/kirk_joins_fight_against_homosexual_marriages_1_1990223

We all have our ideas about values and morals within a relationship,  our “what is right and what is wrong” ideals that we try to live to. Unfortunately often our ideas are flung to the wayside as our rather more “basic” needs come to the fore! *smile*

Occasionally our ideas of right and wrong do not match our partners ideas, or our intentions are misunderstood.   This is not a fault, but simply human nature and we all, as humans, have different ideas and outlooks.   The secret to a more harmonious meeting of these values between two people is simple communication and understanding.

I completely messed up the other evening.  For what I meant as respect was taken as being unfeeling and I hurt the one person in the world who I care very deeply for in a very personal way.  I had no idea at the time that I was causing any hurt but boy did I find out about it afterwards!  *smile*

I honestly thought I was being respectful and showing consideration, my intention was to be honourable (not often I say that!) and instead I just managed to cock up!

So, in future, I will dance to the music of the devil ..   beware … these lips are just waiting <grin>

We all have thoughts and dreams of where our life will lead, for most of us these come to nothing, they remain in our head, an ember of what might be rather than what is.

Some of us set out on our journey of self achievement with a clearly laid out map or plan to to take us to our destination only to be left disappointed and empty when we do manage to achieve what we had perceived to be important.

Our make up as humans make us believe we know what will make us happy, feel complete, when in reality we often end up discovering by chance the things that are really important to us.

Life cannot be planned, there are too many diversions, discoveries and surprises that we cannot forsee until we are in a situation where we realise our original destination is not the treasure we thought it would be.

Sometimes sticking to the right track will get us to our perceived destination, but think of the beauty we miss out on if we are not willing to take a detour from time to time.  We may end up missing out on the greatest journey of our lives.

Oh dammit … what to do … be good and stay in and have a lovely quiet weekend (which after last weekend I should really do!) OR go out and party …

I really can’t make my mind up …

I am a woman of “many faces” .. I love solitude and peace .. I also love company and laughter.   I am torn with what to do….

I hate when I’m indecisive, it throws me off kilter.

Maybe I will go out … or perhaps I will stay in …

DAMMIT!!!

Have you ever lost something that you search high hand low for and just never find.  Then suddenly when you have given up it suddenly appears in front of you.

This is exactly what has happened to me .. I had really taken a step back (deliberately) from having a relationship or even from dating when my life was turned around in a very surprising way.

A couple of months ago I met someone at our Wednesday night club in Edinburgh.  A really nice girl, who was staying in Edinburgh until the middle of September.  To cut a long story short, I really never considered her a “possible partner” mainly because of the age difference but (even though one of my friends could see it a mile away) I never realised that she felt more than friendship for me.

Eventually (mainly due to me being stupid) she had to tell me straight out that she liked me.  It did fling me into a quandry, not only because of the age difference but because she was here such a short time and I really wasn’t in the mood for a fling.   I took a step back, had a wee think and decided that for a few weeks there would be no harm in having a nice time with a beautiful woman.

As it turns out our few weeks will now be at least  few months .. and the “nice time” has turned into something much more that has taken both of us by complete surprise.   She is a wonderfully funny, loving, intelligent, dizzy, beautiful woman and I look at her and wonder why she thinks I am so special.

I cannot believe that a few weeks ago I was unsure of whether to get involved or not .. there is a saying that you should be careful when gathering pebbles that you do not fling away a diamond.   I nearly made that mistake.  I am so glad that I didn’t.

What happens in the future is an unknown, I do feel she should go and live her life, see the world, do all the things she wants to do without the responsibility of having me to consider. I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it .. but in the meantime, I will continue to enjoy my beautiful Senorita and laugh with the world.